Revelations. Testimonials. Meditations

Open the eyes of my heart

2011-08-26T23:16:00.014+08:00

Just attended an amazing service with Pastor Bill Wilson tonight, and to be honest, it can be very easy to be emotionally charged and then walk away unchanged.

I didn't want that, and that is why I am going to chronicle what God spoke to me tonight, so that I will always remember it.

But before I enter into the service proper, I'd like to just mention that all of us were pretty psyched already, so I came prepared for an encounter with Him, prayed, and opened my heart for Him to speak to me as only He can..
It doesn't matter what kind of service you are going into, but the moment you decide to let your heart open, God can speak to you in tremendous ways. And so I learn today...

Pastor started the evening by asking us to 'see beyond ourselves'.

He says he is just an ordinary as anyone of us. If anything, he was merely an ordinary person making unusual choices.

..and he is who he is today, all because ONE man picked him up..
God uses ordinary people to do extraodinary things.
People who are different; who see beyond themselves, who see beyond culture...
Well, he was glad that the man who picked him up did not have to pray about it; did not have to put on a Hillsong CD to get into the mood; did not have to attend a convention.. He just did it.
Actually, the need is THE CALL. Just like how big doors open on very small hinges.

Someone in Indonesia once came up to pastor Bill and said, "I want to have the same vision that you and Isaiah had but I don't have what it takes.."
Some people may say, "I'm not as smart as the rest, not as eloquent.. I can't sing well, I..." Well, if you don't have it, you don't need it.

Let me repeat: If you don't have it, you don't need it.

Yes, you heard it right. Because you already have everything you need, to do exactly what God's designed for you to do.

City-changing, world-changing visions are not reserved for just big-time preachers or prophets.

So, you ask, "where do I get the vision?"

Now, real vision is a PROCESS.
Very few people wake up one day and flip into action.
For example, when you want a baby, you have to go through a process.
The swollen ankles, the stretch marks on your belly, the morning sickness..
If you want the product, you have to go through the process.

Isaiah 6 - The Vision And Calling Of Isaiah
Before we jump to verse 8, the Vision.
Let's look at verse 1:

In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple.

Pastor gave the example of USA, and how it may be a good thing with what is happening to the economy now. Because the people had been so caught up with money, it's like they treat money as king, and same for some of us, sometimes we treat some of the things in life as king.. so it is only when the "king" dies, that things can begin to change..

Mother Theresa says it best, “You will never know that Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you've got."

Pastor Bill had an UPWARD VISION:
When 12-yr old Bill Wilson answered the altarcall in church, everyone had a counsellor beside them except himself. Probably cos he was the same clothes he was picked up in, plus his face was deformed. So he prayed, "God, my mum doesnt want me and even the Christians don't want me, but if You want me, here I am."
God took Bill Wilson as he was and in that same moment, he saw the Lord..
God saw Bill Wilson for who he was and in turn he saw God for who He is.
(I was very touched at this point for it reminded me of God's grace; of how He accepts me for who I am and loves me anyway..)

Pastor Bill had an INWARD VISION:
Isaiah 6, verse 5:

Then said I, Woe [is] me! for I am undone; because I [am] a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.

Isaiah saw himself for who he was on the INSIDE.

When we see God, after we have an Upward vision, we will have an INWARD VISION of who we are.. It may be ugly though, are you prepared to see it? Are you prepared to deal with it? Because God is going to do a work in you.
It's a process and it can be scary or even make you miserable and uncomfortable. Are you ready for an INWARD vision?

Pastor Bill had an OUTWARD VISION:
Isaiah 6, verse 8:

Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here [am] I; send me.

A lot of people ask pastor Bill how does he sustain in his 43 years of ministry?
His answer: "My commitment is stronger than my emotion.. it has nothing to do with how I feel.."
That is so true, many a time, we get so caught up with how we feel, how depressed, how lethargic, that it distracts us from our goal and we lose focus. Tonight, I am reminded I need to stay committed to the call and not let my feelings sway me.

Once you catch the OUTWARD VISION, it changes the way you look at the world; the people; the needs. It changes your perspective.

Pastor gave the example of how one day, he found a thick bunch of hair amidst the garbage, when he went closer to take a look, the hair was part of a ponytail and it belonged to a dead girl who was lying face down in the garbage. He then flipped the body over and saw that the eyes had been gnawed out by ants. At that time, there were 2 other preachers with him. One got sick and threw up, and the other walked away. That day, he decided he was going to start a ministry for girls like her so they won't have to end up in the garbage. But given a typical circumstance, when people see a dead girl like her, to them, it's just another dead black girl. But one man. One man made a decision to do something about it.

As a Christian, we shouldn't have to be coerced to spread the good news, it should be automatic. And when we receive an OUTWARD VISION, the next time if we see a dead girl lying face down in the garbage, it won't just be another dead girl.

You see, ordinary people can be people of great vision.

Some years on Christmas Eve, Pastor Bill Wilson still goes back to the same spot where his mum left him; where he got picked up by the kind Christian stranger, and he does that so that he can remember what God did for him.
When I heard it, it touched my heart tremendously, because I also never want to forget what God has done for me. I want to always remember how my life was changed, how I gave my heart to Jesus; the turning point of my life.. I never want to forget how I lifted my hand at that particular spot in church, what happened that night, what went through my mind and my life after.. I never want to forget..

Pastor gave an altarcall for those who wanted God to start the process; for a vision; to help us see beyond ourselves. He says it is going to be scary for some and even miserable, but are you willing..?

We sang the song, "Open The Eyes Of My Heart, Lord"...

I stood up:

"God, open the eyes of my heart. Help me look beyond myself. I want You.. God, start the process in me now, I am willing for Your work to take place..

And God, I want to remember tonight - Let it not just be an emotionally charged evening, but let the very words spoken to my heart germinate in my spirit man.

I was born for a call bigger than myself, and I want to fulfil what You've put in me."

Amen. Let the work begin..♥

Who else can promise to never forsake you?

2011-04-13T17:22:00.001+08:00

Hebrews 13:5-6 "Let your conduct be without covetousness, and be content with such things that you have, for he has said, 'I will never leave you, nor forsake you,' so that we may boldly say, 'The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do to me.'" (emphasis mine)
(Many, if not most, of us have probably been in physical need at some time. All of us are in spiritual need, and will remain that way as long as we live in this body of flesh with its carnal nature, its lusts, phobias, hatreds, jealousies and myriad other sinful proclivities. But God does not abandon us. Never.
We can always trust in him to be there for us, no matter how hard and how far we fall. The word "never" in this passage is from "ou me", in Greek what is known as an emphatic negative . In other words, "never" means just that! Never!)

Seek Good in all things

2010-10-01T00:07:00.002+08:00

The earth is filled with the goodness of the Lord! See the good in everyone and in all things. A good man obtains favour from the Lord.

And if we ought to see the good in everyone and in all things, so does the Lord see the good in us! Hence, we never need to be afraid nor cower in shame in His presence for we can be assured that the Lord He sees the good in us, hopes in us, believes in us..

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jer 29:11

And if our God should see the good in us, all the more we should seek and see the good in others and in all things. Amen.

Things that count with God

2009-08-21T16:35:00.006+08:00

This morning on my way to work, I was praying to God and I asked Him for godly principles to how to lead my life, and He showed me...

(7) Things that count with God - Matthew 7:

1. Do not judge and you won't be judged (v1,2)
1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.

2. Do not share your holy revelations with those who do not understand it (v6)
6 “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.

3. Ask, Seek, Hunger, Thirst (v7-11)
7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 9 Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? 11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

4. Whatever you want men to do to you, do too to them. (v12)
12 Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

5. Choose the narrow way (v13)
13 “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. 14 Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.

6. Discern men by their fruits (v 15-20)
15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them.

7. Hear and do God's word. (v24-26)
24 “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: 25 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.
26 “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand

Amen. I must remember to meditate on this, cos confidence has always been my stumbling block. I get anxious when I do not know my authority and I dare not perform even when given the opportunity. Knowledge is power.. and I know I can walk with greater victory when I am sure of His word and what His word says about my life. My breakthrough is coming!

nail-pierced hands

2009-08-10T00:49:00.002+08:00

Had a wonderful service this weekend - God's presence... So tangible... His voice.. so audible...

Jesus came and the Lord Himself spoke to me..

As I was in deep worship, I was struggling within myself.. I knew there was something I had to let go but I couldn't, it was really tough.. and as I continued to worship and sing to Him..
I felt Jesus Himself come right in front of me..

He stretched out both His hands toward me and showed me His palms.. Using a finger and pointing to both palms (the sign language for "Jesus"), He said, you see these hands? I have taken your sins and crucified them with me upon the cross.

And as He said that, I cried. I felt deliverance.. and understood that that I have been set free by His blood, and from now on, that handsign was going to serve as a reminder to myself to crucify my flesh, and that whatever I go through, He's gone through it for me, and I no longer need to struggle as I lift it up to Him.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked down at His nail-pierced hands again, I sensed the pain that He went through for my sake and I was touched by His love.. His great love..

Jesus, I'm grateful to You..
and truly, like the song goes..
"what's not to love about You
Heaven and earth adore You
Kings and kingdoms bow down
Son of God You are the one
You are the one
I'm living for"

Jesus, You are whom I live for.
Forever.
I love You because You first loved me, because You sacrificed~

Know the Lord all over again

2009-05-31T23:50:00.016+08:00

Two weeks ago during service, Pastor called Jesus as Counselor, Prince of Peace..and as he called God by those names, I began to reflect upon my own relationship with God, and what do I know Him by...? My best friend? My Saviour? I then felt in my heart a determination to know the Lord all over again..
And so began my quest to seek after Him more on a personal Bible study:

1) Jesus fulfilled all righteousness (Matt 3:15)
He asked John the baptist to baptise Him - He did what was right even when it wasn't necessary.
Sometimes we don't do what is needed cos it doesn't feel necessary, so it is important to follow in the footsteps of Jesus to fulfil all righteousness.

2) Jesus knew the word of God (Matt 4:4-11) - vital for defeating the enemy
That's why it is necessary for us to also memorise God's verses...How else to wield the sword of the Spirit?

3) Jesus prayed for God's will to be done when things seemed trying (Luke 22:42-44)
Each time I experience difficulty to do what is right, I recall the picture of Jesus in the garden of Gethsamene praying, saying, Father if You are willing, remove this cup from Me. Yet not My will, but Yours be done. And being in an agony He prayed more earnestly. And His sweat was as if it were great drops of blood falling to the ground.
So we can take heed that even when things become very difficult at times, we should follow the example of Jesus and get up and pray.

4) Jesus taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law (Matt 7:29)
Therefore, teach out of conviction, with conviction and don't just preach.

5) Jesus was calm in times of trouble and storm (Matt 8:24)
When the storm came, the disciples were panicking, yet Jesus Himself was totally unaffected by the storm. But He woke up from sleep and rebuked the winds and the waves.
Speak to the problems and not let the problems overwhelm you.

6) Jesus was embracing of everyone (Matt 9:12-13)
He never despised anyone/ sinners, and even sat with them for dinner.
Sometimes, we fnd it hard to accept those who don't share our same level of faith, and we view them with eyes of judgement and despise. And Jesus has this to say, "I desire mercy, not sacrifice"

7) Jesus never stopped 'working' (Mark 3:2-4)
Even on the day of Sabbath, He was healing people and He even challenged the pharises not to be legalistic. This reminds me of what pastor Mike Connell did as he was leaving the hall to rush for the next service.. As he was walking out, he was laying hands and praying for every single person he met along the way. To me, it certainly felt like it was no longer a job. Pastor Mike Connell had taken full ownership and responsibility of his call and was faithful to it. In the same likeness as Pastor Kong who is always serving... be it counseling or preaching etc. Yet, it is of prime importance that we never neglect to commune with God so we will never need to come to a stage of burning out.

8) Jesus was compassionate to the needy (Matt 9:36)
We should be emphathetic to people's situations, for they, in Jesus words, "are like sheep without a shepherd."

9) Jesus empowers (Matt 10:1)
Even though He had all authority, He gave His disciples to perform them (miracles).
And a friend reminds me of this verse from John 14:12 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do.." what Jesus is really saying here is that as the risen Lord, who dwells in us by means of the Spirit, He will do greater things through us than He did when He was here in the days of His flesh. Hallelujah!

10) Jesus hated wickedness (Ps 45:7)
In fact, He hated wickedness so much that He bled to wound it to the heart; He died that it might die; He was buried that He might bury it in His tomb; and He rose that He might forever trample it beneath His feet.
Even when I struggle, the Spirit Himself reminds me that I am a co-heir with Christ and that He died so that we are no longer slaves to sin.
And tonight, all the more I am decided that I want to follow Him; to walk on the narrow path.
(there can hardly be any goodness in a man if he be not angry at sin; he who loves truth must hate every false way.)

It's so hard to do what is right sometimes

2009-05-29T01:30:00.004+08:00

God, it's so hard to do what is right.
It's so hard... to say, "Father, if You are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but Yours be done."

And the answer is found in Jesus' advice to His disciples, "Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation."

Well, God never said it was going to be easy. Even Jesus Himself prayed till His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

So, get up and pray
Get up and pray
Get up and pray..

Pray and enjoy a moment more with Him..

2009-05-08T02:33:00.015+08:00

A friend of mine recently asked this question, "Why do we need to pray since God already knows what's going to happen to us? Does God change His mind?"

And in answering that, I came to seek Him more....

I told my friend, I had thought about that question before; about praying, but it subsequently became an easy question to answer especially when you open the Bible and it's filled with Jesus praying.. asking His disciples to pray, asking you and me to pray.. etc etc

Why there! Praying IS the way to go! Especially when Jesus HIMSELF is praying too!

And here's what I also told my friend..

1) our finite mind isn't able to understand an infinite God, so we can only rely on how far our finite mind can possibly take us. Yet, we should not let it handicap us in understanding God
"Lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge and He shall direct your path"

2) Even if the twists and turns in life have already been planned and decided for us, not praying only discounts us from having an encounter with God, much less experiencing His miracle. (A miracle is not quite the same without a prayer) and it shortchanges us of His revelation. Cos' we NEED God, not the other way around. So say, even if the results are going to be the same whether or not we pray (God loves us the same even when we don't pray) when we don't pray, we are really cutting ourselves short in our relationship with God.
So, each moment we don't pray, is a moment less with Him, each time we don't seek Him, is time lost with Him.

Given that He loves us all the same, don't you want to encounter Him in a deeper and more intimate way? So pray and read His word, and He will give you wisdom and show you a glimpse of future, and He can speak to you when you seek after Him.

James 4:8 says to draw close to God and He will draw close to you.

do not go back to the old days

2009-05-08T02:28:00.001+08:00

As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."
1 Pet 1:14-15

Amen.

Be content in any and every situation

2009-05-08T01:15:00.010+08:00

Things hadn't been very rosy of late, and I've been feeling rather discouraged. At work and ministry.. especially at work - Things just didn't seem to go right. And with the little remuneration for the amount of work done, it certainly wasn't very encouraging.. But I decided to comfort myself by imagining that I am a villager.
I think about those poor but happy villagers who live in the mountains in China, and as I sit by my bed counting my blessings, things didn't feel as bad afterall.

Godliness with contentment is great gain
1 Timothy 6:6

In order to meet with the various challenges that faced me, I decided to keep confessing I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

That night when I was reading the word of God for encouragement, I turned to Phil 4:19
..my God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

And that was when God spoke to me, He said..
Be content in any and every situation.. whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

..
you know how different people can comfort and dispense great advice and yet sometimes you may still find it hard to overcome your fears and worries? But when God speaks a rhema word to you, the peace of God comes upon you and you know that God has spoken and you fret no more.
And that's exactly how I feel right now..

I thank God for His rhema word, for His comfort.
Surely as I become content in any and every situation, as I seek first the kingdom of God and all His righteousness, all things shall be added to me.

Thank You God for Your peace in me..

One day in the house of God is better than a thousand elsewhere

2009-03-11T01:25:00.004+08:00

I was feeling rather tired last night, so I thought maybe I should skip prayer and head straight to bed.. but a thought came over me, and I wondered if it really was going to be worth it to lose time with God just to gain sleep, or would I rather lose sleep and gain time with God. After all, if heaven is where Jesus is, I really should be clearly aware of which is a more worthy way to spend my time, and so with that, I walked into my room and started praying..

That's when I felt the Holy Spirit tell me, "One day in the house of God is better than a thousand days elsewhere.."

So, I took my Bible out and meditated upon Psalm 84:
1 How lovely is Your tabernacle,
O LORD of hosts!
2 My soul longs, yes, even faints
For the courts of the LORD;
My heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

3 Even the sparrow has found a home,
And the swallow a nest for herself,
Where she may lay her young—
Even Your altars, O LORD of hosts,
My King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in Your house;
They will still be praising You. Selah

5 Blessed is the man whose strength is in You,
Whose heart is set on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
They make it a spring;
The rain also covers it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength;
Each one appears before God in Zion.[b]

8 O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer;
Give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah
9 O God, behold our shield,
And look upon the face of Your anointed.

10 For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
Than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
The LORD will give grace and glory;
No good thing will He withhold
From those who walk uprightly.

12 O LORD of hosts,
Blessed is the man who trusts in You!

Indeed.. no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
What comfort we get, when we rest in God..
Amen.

Much knowledge is also vanity upon vanity

2009-03-05T20:26:00.002+08:00

Two nights ago, when I was doing my quiet time, I sat down with my Bible and asked God what He will say to me tonight,
And then quietly I felt Him tell me to refer to Ecclesiates. While looking for the book of Ecclesiates, I felt the Holy Spirit say, “everything is meaningless, it is a mere chasing of the wind..” As I was pondering upon that verse, I found the book of Ecclesiastes only to realize that the verse came right from the book of ECCLESIASTES! I then knew without a doubt that God was really highlighting that text to me. I then subsequently read up the Commentary to find out more on Ecclesiastes and to search for what God wanted to say..

It said, “If this world, in its present state, were all, it would not be worth living for; and the wealth and pleasure of this world, if we had ever so much, are not enough to make us happy. What profit has a man of all his labour? All he gets by it will not supply the wants of the soul, nor satisfy its desires; will not atone for the sins of the soul…Solomon tried all things, and found them vanity. He found his searches after knowledge weariness, not only to the flesh, but to the mind. The more he saw of the works done under the sun, the more he saw their vanity; and the sight often vexed his spirit. He could neither gain that satisfaction to himself, nor do that good to others, which he expected. Even the pursuit of knowledge and wisdom discovered man's wickedness and misery; so that the more he knew, the more he saw cause to lament and mourn. Let us learn to hate and fear sin, the cause of all this vanity and misery; to value Christ; to seek rest in the knowledge, love, and service of the Saviour.”

You see, I happen to be one who is rather critical, seeking to define the rights and wrongs in the things I see, I judge, I thirst after knowledge. And this is merely one part of me.

Then, there’s the other part of me that struggles.. I struggle constantly upon this ‘thorn of my flesh’ – it is my weakness, it is the cross I bear, and I struggle to overcome it. One night, I even had a dream. I dreamt of my secondary classmate whom I bumped into on the streets one day. I asked her what she was doing and realized to my surprise she is a praise and worship leader in her church! (She had never been the religious type as far as I knew) Not long into the conversation, I invited her to go clubbing one of these nights, which in the dream, was symbolic of going into a past lifestyle.. But to which she refused.. She replied with utmost sincerity, “I have sacrificed a lot to be where I am and worked very hard to come all the way to become the leader today.. I really do not want to throw it all away – it would be a waste.” Hearing from her made me identify with my own situation. I too, have come a long way. Am I prepared to throw it all away in exchange for temporal gains?

I woke up the next day pondering upon that dream, knowing that there was a message behind it, and God was helping me make a godly choice about the temptations that I face.

Truly, the pursuit of all things material is nothing but vanity. Vanity upon vanity, vanities of all vanities, and it is meaningless; a mere chasing of the wind.

--
I continue to pray for God’s guidance and His divine protection upon my life; that I will have His wisdom to make the right choices in life.

Without You God, life would be a hell, but as long as I have You, even hell would be a heaven.

I thank You God for being close by my side. I feel You with me. And I feel blissful and secure..

We all speak a different spiritual language

2009-02-26T01:13:00.008+08:00

I read this this morning..

For God so loved the world that He gave His only-begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but so that the world might be saved through Him.
He who believes on Him is not condemned, but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only-begotten Son of God…

I do not know why but what stood out as I read that was the word, ‘condemn’; that I suffer no condemnation now that I am with Christ. As I meditated on it, it struck even deeper that God really doesn’t condemn – NOT ONE BIT, not when I am with Him at least.

I had been a victim of condemnation… and to know that I need not suffer a bit of it is to say the least, a revelation.

And then I go on to read this from the book I’m currently on..

“Spirituality is not ‘one-size-fits-all’. There is a wonderful variety of ways to relate to God that are equally compelling…

• The Pathway of Tradition
These people love God through rituals, sacraments, and symbols. Their life of faith is marked by disciplines and structure. They may read daily from a devotional text or have a routine time of kneeling in prayer. Others may view their pathway to God as legalistic, but traditionalists define their faith largely by their conduct.

• The Pathway of Vision
These people love God by dreaming a great dream. They have their mind set on the future and are focused on what they can be. They are energized by a mission that allows them to be part of something big, something that will result in bringing others to a deeper relationship with God. They feel closest to God when they are a part of something big on his behalf.

• The Pathway of Intellectual Thought
These people seek God with their minds. They study to better know and understand ideas and models that bring them – and perhaps the people they teach – closer to God. They love the world of ideas and concepts. Faith, for them, is something to be analysed and understood as much as experienced. They feel closest to God when they are reading a stimulating book that brings them fresh understanding of something related to God or the spiritual life.

…

Les’ Spiritual Style: I am an intellectual. I don’t know if it’s in my blood – I share this style with some family members – or if my years of academic training set me on this path. Whatever the reason, I feel closest to God when I am learning a new truth. If I can wrap my mind around a truth, I come alive in my relationship with God..

As I read that, I was deeply consoled to know that all these time I did not have to feel I was being legalistic nor carnal-minded! I now know..

When I kneel to pray,
- I was not being legalistic.
When I pray to God at a set time everyday,
- I was not being ritualistic.
When I get most excited about God speaking to me,
- It was not because I suffer from a lack of faith.
Even when my blog largely contains only of what God spoke to me,
- It was not because my spiritual walk is single-dimensional.

That’s why God said He doesn’t condemn! Not even if you think otherwise..

We all feel close to God in our own ways, we all connect to Him in our own SPECIAL way – one where we can call our own.

And God...
“You are my special God.
You make me feel so special.”

When you are drowning, cling to Him (all the more)

2008-12-07T23:50:00.007+08:00

Last night, I had a fight with my mum..

It started with something very trivial till I made some insensitive remark. Since the both of us were really tired, that stupid remark didn't make it any better for her, and I think she got hurt.. It ended up with the both of us being angry with each other..

She went into her room crying, and I was sitting in my living room not knowing what to do.

She really is the best mum in the world, and precisely because she is the best mum in the world, she definitely deserves the best daughter too. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. I didn't know how much more I could give her or what I could do that would truly meet her expectations.. so there I was, sitting by the dining table sobbing - angry with myself; upset with her; feeling helpless.

As I sat there, negative thoughts ran through my mind. I even doubted my relationship with God.
I thought the reason why I love God was probably because He is not human. He doesn't live with me under the same roof, and will never scold me like my mum. But even as I was thinking that thought, I knew I was being ridiculous for thinking that way because God is clearly real to me, not to mention my numerous encounters with Him! This truly wasn't the time to deny Him. How could I?...

When you are helpless and drowning, most people tend to swim away from Him instead of swimming to Him as our lifeline. Whilst thinking that, I used my little ounce of energy left to pray.. I tried my best to be sane and pleaded with Him - I said, "God help me. I'm feeling helpless now. I know when I am weak, I am strong because You will strengthen me. And Your word says that Draw close to You and You will draw close to me, so I'm doing the exact thing Your word says, and I believe that You will help me. I trust You.." With that I ended my prayer, and sought to hear from Him.

True enough, God is never one who forsakes, and even when we are faithless, He is faithful. He then says to me, Ask, and it shall be given you. Nothing that is good shall be denied him. If all these things are to be had by merely knocking at mercy's door, O my soul, knock hard this morning, and ask large things of thy generous Lord. No unbelief should hinder when Jesus promises.

You need not fret concerning the weakness..for the battle is the Lord's, and He shall get to Himself the victory. Let us abide faithful to Christ, and He, in the right time, will raise up for us a defence..in the day of our personal need..."

On hearing this, peace seemed to swim inside me. I then had a confident assurance that God would take care of the problem for me, and that I could go to bed and not worry anymore.. *grin*

With that, I thanked Him, and went to bed with peace in my heart...

The next day, I awoke feeling fresh and it couldn't have felt more brand new! Somehow, it almost seemed like last night did not happen at all. Why, God truly gives His beloved rest!

But of course, coming back to the crux of the story..

My mum returned home this evening, she spoke with me, and we hugged and we made up.

!!!

GOD IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM AND I'M NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT!

My Number One by Hillsong Kids
I won't stop, never gonna stop praising
Evr'y day You'll be my number one Jesus Jesus my number one

Now the sun's coming up and it's going back down
No I'll never back down from living for You my God!
I'm living for truth my God
As time goes by and the seasons change
No I'm never gonna change my love for You my God
My hope in You my God!

Everybody now!
I won't stop, never gonna stop praising
Evr'y day You'll be my number one Jesus Jesus my number one

No matter what I'll face, gonna put my faith in You
At the end of the day, gonna stand my ground and say

I'll praise You my God x4

I won't stop, never gonna stop praising
Evr'y day You'll be my number one Jesus Jesus my number one
You are my number one....

I have a great Intercessor!

2008-11-13T12:09:00.002+08:00

With Jesus as my intercessor, I truly need not fear.

I recently lost a $5k deal due to negligence and I was beating myself up over it, but then with faith I prayed to God that in future, I will close whatever deals that lands on my hands, and since then, work has been smooth, and I closed the month's sales at about $12k, and it was only my 1st month at my job!

I am so touched by how much He cares and how much He loves me, that He will surely watch over me, and fight my case for me, for His thoughts toward me are good; thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give me a future and a hope. And that's exactly what I can lean on.. having that assurance that He is always For me!

I am recently reading this book called "THE SHACK", and it certainly drew a very mind-blowing perspective for me! Sometimes, our limited view of God makes us misconstrue His plans when actually everything He has for us is good. Like how the Bible says, "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

"That is a hard pill to swallow; choosing to only live in me. To do that you must know me enough to trust me and learn to rest in my inherent goodness."
-The Shack

For indeed we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need..

I thank God for fighting my battles for me, so that I need not ever be afraid!

It is Christ IN me, NOT me

2008-06-28T13:35:00.004+08:00

June 28 2008

Feeling drowned in the onslaught of pressure at work, I found myself suffocating spiritually especially when my prayer life was dry.. Everytime I try to pray, I meet with resistence in my flesh and I become afraid to pray because I realized I do not know how to pray; where to start; how to engage with Him. Clearly, I have drifted…

So this morning, I was feeling lousy as usual – feeling I have disappointed Him; angry with myself for saying how much I love Him yet not fellowshipping with Him enough, I felt I didn’t deserve Him. I was feeling so defeated…

But I decided to start somewhere and picked up my Daily Devotional:

Hebrews 12:2 “Looking Unto Jesus”

It is ever the Holy Spirit's work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan's work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, "Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of his children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus." All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: he tells us that we are nothing, but that "Christ is all in all." Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee-it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee-it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument-it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking unto Jesus." Keep thine eye simply on him; let his death, his sufferings, his merits, his glories, his intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to him; when thou liest down at night look to him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after him, and he will never fail thee.
"My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness:
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name."

Indeed..
God is watching; listening to us all the time. He is there for us, lest anyone should fall away, He is there so we can fall on Him…

Thank You Jesus..

God is Undeniably good

2008-06-28T13:34:00.002+08:00

June 27 2008

Gin taught me an interesting way to chart my prayer life, she said the Holy Spirit inspired her to adopt this method.
She would pray, write down her prayer requests as well as note down those which God has answered.. Through this, she will be able to see which are the prayers which God answers and which are those which He will take time. From this, we will also be able to see a pattern of how God moves and we are better able to understand His heart.

A very good method I thought!

Even before I could start on it, I found two prayers which God would always answer promptly!

The first time Aaron and I prayed over our work, that God would open doors to sponsorships, for favor of men, that very night, a potential sponsor called me to indicate their interest in collaborating.

Yesterday, the 2nd time we prayed as a group, asking for favor and open doors in sponsorships, we received an email from another potential sponsor seeking to collaborate in our major dance events!

He was so prompt I had only one thing to conclude – God wants me to succeed in my career! He really wants me to succeed in my career.. and He will help me.

Our God is a reassuring God

2008-06-02T20:39:00.006+08:00

Following God's assurance that He will be my soulmate and my confidante, God continues to reassure me in a most irrefutable way..

On Wednesday 21st June, just 4 days after He spoke to me through a prophesy by an SOT mate, God speaks to me again through two of my cell group members. That night, while we were all praying, Adeline gave a word of knowledge saying that God knows I feel guilty when I come before Him and that I feel like I'm not good enough, but He wants me to be assured in Him and know that He loves me. I sensed that God is telling me that His love is made perfect in me, and I really need not fear. There should be no fear in His perfect love.

Just when I thought that was all, Connie spoke. She said, "But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and earthenware, and some for honorable and noble use and some for menial and ignoble use. So whoever cleanses himself will be a vessel set apart and useful for honorable and noble purposes, consecrated and profitable to the Master, fit and ready for any good work. She said that God wants me to know He is not looking for a silver vessel, a golden vessel or a perfect vessel, but a willing vessel. And if I am willing, I can be set apart for His use.."

I really broke down that night, for God is such a reassuring God.

First He tells me He is my friend, then He tells me I need not feel guilty or that I am not good enough, and then He tells me He can use me, and that I'm as comparable as any golden or silver vessel..

His words truly are comforting...
With that, I really felt more confident in approaching His throne, just like His word says, "Let us come boldly to His throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (Heb 4:16 NKJV)

I thank You God. You are my Abba Father, thank You for loving me and I love You...

*btw those 2 friends I mentioned weren't very close friends and yet they could pinpoint exactly where I was in my walk with God and accurately point out my deepmost emotions... God truly knows it all...

Moving in the gifts of the Holy Spirit

2008-05-18T19:40:00.010+08:00

GOD SPEAKS; GOD MOVES; GOD HEARS AND ANSWERS OUR THOUGHTS;

In the morning when we were practising the gifts of the Holy Spirit, pastor blindfolded two of the students and made them give a word of wisdom/ knowledge about the person standing in front of them.

At the beginning, I was rather vexed.. Much as I want to believe it is real, I couldn't get past myself: I wanted to know this wasn't tautology - the very thing I've always been against (eg. Daily Horoscopes).

(God heard my thought...)
Soon after, pastor got the blindfolded students to go deeper, and started revealing deeper truths about the man standing in front of him. For example, his background and his current situation. In fact, both of them even managed to identify who the student was! (the chances? 1 out of 500)
When that happened, I was thankful to God for allowing me room to question and yet was gracious to meet me at my faith level. I was elated! (the best was yet to come..)

Before our lesson ended, we started practising our gifts in smaller groups. This time, I was the one being prophesied upon (fyi we do not know each other):

The man who was blindfolded accurately identified my feeling of insecurity in my heart. He then went deeper to say that my insecurity was in the area of friendships. He said I was afraid of not being able to find friends, and that I was looking for a soulmate; and God wanted to assure me that I need not be afraid, for Jesus is my soulmate..
At this point, I cried..

(Here's my side of the story..)
I have a close friend (confidante) whom I regard as a soulmate. A month ago, I had a nightmare and I realised it was due to my insecurities that made me fear losing her. In fact, I've always held on very tightly to this particular friendship for I loved her dearly.
And that particular day, she was due to leave for a month-long honeymoon, but because I had something urgent in the night, I could not make it to send her off. Hence the whole morning in Bible school, I kept dwelling upon it - wondering if she'll be disappointed with me, wondering if she'll understand... etc etc
But of course, while all these was going on in my mind, God is watching and He wants to assure me..

To tell the truth, this was not the first time God is telling me He will be my ultimate friend. Today, He is revealing to me again that He IS the confidante that I want..and I need not look around in every other place, because the only place I need to search for is in Him - IN JESUS.
Truly, God is my ultimate friend. Because HE CARES.
He cares enough to identify my problem, He cares enough to assure me, He cares enough to be by my side. God is my friend for eternity :)

Jesus, I want to love You more each day..

spell passion

2008-04-29T22:36:00.006+08:00

Everything happens for a reason.

Something happened to me yesterday, well not particularly proud of how I got into that circumstance but let's just say I got trapped for a few hours, and in that captive hours, I 'witnessed' passion.. and it was certainly a lesson that will stay with me. It's almost like God giving me a practical lesson:

Yesterday, I was feeling extremely drowsy after coming back to work, so I decided to take a rest in one of the changing rooms in my office, thinking a short nap should energise me adequately to last me thru the night. At about 630pm, I awoke and thought I will get back to work, but alas I heard a familiar voice outside which sounded like my colleague, so I decided to stay inside the cubicle till she leaves. Little did I know that was the beginning of my practical lesson inside that little 'room'...

Apparently the girl is outside the room practising and choreographing a dance. Soon, half an hour passed and I was beginning to feel restless. But it would be too late to leave now, so I continued to wait.

The next half hour passed and it was now 7pm - I thought, "when's this gonna end?"
It was at this time, I overheard her saying she's got an hour more to go. "Oh no..", I grunted.

And then 8pm came - By this time, I was thinking if I was going to spend the night there! I couldn't believe how anyone could dance non-stop for one and a half hours! Throughout this whole time, I could hear her putting in a lot of effort, repeating her music over and over again, trying her steps fervently.

Soon, it was 9pm, and she was still there diligently practising her dance! - By then, I was very desperate, I started praying to God to make her leave while I tried to use my 'free' time in there by planning my next day.
But while I was in there, I also grew increasingly impressed by her passion toward her craft and her conscientiousness.

At 930pm, I was no longer sure if she even intends to leave, so I thought enough was enough! I really needed to get out, and that was when I plucked up enough courage to sms my colleague to help ask the girl and her friends to leave. And it turned out that the girl actually wasn't my friend, but someone who was busy practising her choreography for an audition cum performance. (Urgh! which meant I could have left right at the beginning)

But I learnt something very precious through this.
I mean, I love singing and I'm in the praise and worship ministry, yet I have never toiled like this girl since I get restless very easily and I have a very short attention span. This incident speaks to me about one thing - passion.
This girl had passion for her craft, which is why she could dance non-stop for the past 3 hours. In that span of 3 hours, her friends had came by to watch her dance. Yet, in spite of her friends' encouragement, she was not satisfied with her own performance, which was the very reason why she stayed there for such a long time.

I have a lot to learn from her -
To me, she is passion personified.

Thank you God for showing me how I ought to live out my passion and hone my craft like she does. I want to strive for excellence in what I do, like what the Bible says in 1 Tim 4:8 to exercise oneself up in godliness.. "Those who would be godly must exercise themselves unto godliness; it requires a constant exercise."

I am honored and deeply grateful

2008-03-24T19:19:00.003+08:00

grat•i•tude
–noun
Feeling of thankfulness; being given the the privilege; the honor of performing in front of thousands this Easter... having my dreams fulfilled, and given the capacity, the ability and the tenacity to carry it through.

God is so so good to me, I am convinced He deeply loves me. Not just because of His gifts, but His abundant grace, mercy and favor. He hears me, He keeps me in mind, He keeps me in check, He helps me, He anoints me, He loves me - Fully. More than I can think or imagine.

This Easter, I’m so filled with gratitude. You see, God loves us so much that we don’t even realize it sometimes.
• I have a dream. I love to perform.
• God gives me the gift and the talents.
• He hears me. He knows my desires, and my dream.
• And then He answers me. He grants me my desires.
• He enables me, gives me the capacity and the tenacity to fulfil it –
Playing this role was tough, even though I loved to act, it did not necessarily mean I was good at it. Even though I really wanted to do it, it didn’t mean I could do it well. It was certainly a challenge. But I prayed to God to give me the unique anointing to flesh out the role well and to communicate the good news of the gospel, of His grace that’s been upon my life; of how He saved me from the world.
And this Easter, I managed to achieve all of that.. I managed to overcome all aspects of what was required of me and I did it well. All with the help of God!

Isn’t He amazing?
He freely gives us all things and capacitates us! He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.. How true is that, in every form of the Word! Now, when I understand abundance, I understand it to mean in every aspect – not just financially or tangibly but in every need we may have.

If you love someone, you will give everything you have in your hand, and what more will our Father God give to us in abundance whatever we ask of Him?

Amen.

Believe it!

2008-01-23T12:58:00.000+08:00

I was reading the book of Exodus two nights ago, and when I read this verse, I was deeply touched in my heart, for it speaks of a Father's love..

And the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so as to go by day and night. He did not take away the pillar of cloud by day or the pillar of fire by night from before the people.
(Exo 13:21-22)

And it certainly boosted my faith, knowing that the LORD my God is always with me, with his pillar of cloud by day and his pillar of fire by night, protecting me always, and never leaving me..

This afternoon, I decided to have my lunch at the office balcony instead, so I took my lunchbox out and sat down on the chair along the aisle. But before I could even take a few spoonfuls of my rice, I felt raindrops at my feet. So, in faith, I said in my heart, "God, let the rain stop.. let me finish my lunch first." On the aisle, I could already see raindrops appearing on the floor. As I looked up, I noticed it had started drizzling. I then decided to at least take a few more mouthfuls :p Just then, I realised the raindrops were no longer falling on my feet, and there were no new raindrops on the ground either.. When I looked up, the rain had stopped!! Immediately, I knew it could only be God! So, with thanks, I continued with my lunch :D

After I finished eating, I decided to pray and give thanks to God for answering my prayers as I meditated on Exo 13:21-22. After I finished praying, I felt little raindrops on my feet again. So, with a big smile on my face, that was when I stood up from my seat and slowly walked down the aisle and out of the balcony :)

Amen.

God is good.. God is with us and God hears us.

brevity of life

2007-10-02T10:44:00.000+08:00

I had been very bothered by a lack of tact in a friend, and it's been on my mind to bring it up to her. Well, I had tried to tell her about how curt she can be sometimes and how that attitude might be worth reflecting but I guess the message never got home.
So over the past few days, I got increasingly upset as I felt it was eating away at our friendship. Since she was a close friend, it really hurt me deep inside..

I prayed to God last night and lifted my cares to Him. As I stared at my swimming pool below, it dawned upon me that I was going to be moving soon and I will no longer enjoy that tranquil view of the pool in 2 months' time - so I really ought to treasure what I have now and to make the most of it. God then reminded me to say that a wise man takes into account the brevity of life. He added in Ecclesiastes 7:21-24

21 Also do not take to heart everything people say,
Lest you hear your servant cursing you.
22 For many times, also, your own heart has known
That even you have cursed others.
23 All this I have proved by wisdom.
I said, “I will be wise”;
But it was far from me.
24 As for that which is far off and exceedingly deep,
Who can find it out?

Upon hearing that, I felt a load taken off me. Truly, I need not be bothered by these little things in life for such is the brevity of life..

The Joy of the Lord is my Strength :)

You rescued me Lord..

2007-09-14T02:05:00.000+08:00

God gives hope
God revives dreams
Nothing will ever be too late
if you see from God's perspective

Standing upon the plane
of past future present
I can only see where my eyes can take me
But my Lord overlooks all things
And He shall direct my path
When I acknowledge Him in all my ways

God You are bringing me on the road to recovery
I know and I know and I can sense it in my heart
You care too much to let me stay this way
You care too much to let me stay the same

Lord I give You my world
Lord I give You my life
Your love is bringing me to greater heights
I need not go back to the same place again

I want to know You God

2007-09-14T02:00:00.000+08:00

I want to know You God
You are a magnificent God
Above and beyond all that I know
It is You who gives all wisdom

God I can ask of You for this and that
But who would know better than God Himself
..He who holds the perfect plan:
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,
says the LORD,
thoughts of peace and not of evil,
to give you a future and a hope."

Your word is true, and You are faithful
Help me grow in greater understanding of You
I do not know a lot, and
I always grapple with the truth
Your ways are higher than my ways,
Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts
Lead me by the Spirit I pray,
Not my way but by Your way.
Amen.

reach out with love

2007-09-14T01:53:00.000+08:00

"Are you persuaded you see more clearly than me?...Then treat me as you would desire to be treated yourself upon a change of circumstances. Point me out a better way than I have yet known. Show me it is so by plain proof of scripture. And if I linger in the path I have been accustomed to tread and am therefore unwilling to leave it, labor with me a little; take me by the hand and lead me as I am able to bear."

-John Wesley

..hearing this, it dawned upon me how impatient I had been. I had not yet learnt the art of empathy, and truly this is something I need to master. Labor a little, and to convince others as I would so wish to be convinced myself, in reaching out :)

I do not speak for myself

2007-07-03T14:31:00.000+08:00

I recently met with a crisis.
And my confidence waned.
I told my friend that I was no longer confident of what I know.
Her grandma just passed away.. and even in circumstances like this, when she needs comfort and encouragement, I felt inferior even to dispense advice for I felt I did not have anything to offer.
But she spoke to me to say that all these inferior sentiments are from the devil, and that I do not speak out of my own knowledge but upon God's promises. For who can be sure of what they know.. But if I lean on what He says, I can still have conviction and confidence.

I thank God that when all else fails,
He never fails.
His mercy endures forever..

The scriptures declare that His mercy endures forever (Ps. 136), He retains not His anger forever, but delights in mercy (Mic. 7:18), His tender mercies are above all His works (including His judgments) (Ps. 145:9), His love never fails (1 Cor. 13:8), and above all, He is love (1 Jn. 4:8)!

Thank God for Your grace.
Amen.

How to self-discipline aka crucify your flesh

2007-05-31T01:11:00.000+08:00

First of all, I want to thank God for His presence.
If anything, what makes a Christian walk so special is the experiential knowledge of God. Walking with Him..Feeling Him close.. His presence so tangible, it brings you to tears..

One of the biggest obstacle I have in my spiritual walk is my distractive mind. I am generally very restless and I have a very short attention span, which disrupts my quiet time greatly. What is a Christian walk if I can't enjoy quality fellowship with God?

The Bible says, "Seek the LORD while He may be found.."(Isa 55) Quite obviously, it means we are to SEEK Him, and how can we find Him if we can't remain still to hear from Him? “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) So last night, I tried again.. to hear God by 'turning down the volume of the world'. I tried to focus and here's what I learnt...

The first step to discipline is to become very aware of your thoughts and to capture every single disruptive thought, and to bring it into captive; subdue it with the authority of Christ; by bringing it into the 'court' of Christ.
Keep pressing on and focusing on God as you pray and you can enter into His presence when you persevere. Run, run,run with God and persevere.
As I do so, I feel as if I am running from the outer court, into the inner court, and moving into the Holy of Holies..

Tonight's one of the few times where I break down and experience Him in my quiet time. I can feel His embrace and His presence is so real. I actually feel relaxed as I remain still and flow in the spirit, slowly praying for things/ people that come into my mind.. And when I pray that way, there is greater faith and conviction than just 'having-to-pray'.

God hears and God feels.

We need to be serious with God.

No wonder the verse kept ringing in my head the whole night.. "Seek the LORD while He may be found".

It's all about seeking - Knock and doors shall be opened to you.
Amen!

How to hear from God in daily life

2007-05-29T23:54:00.000+08:00

I wanna thank God for answering my prayers..faithfully, without fail.

..I asked God, and I prayed. I said God I want to train myself up in godliness. Cos I really feel that I need to whip my spiritual life back into shape. I haven't been fellowshipping with God very much and that's bad. "So how do I become so sensitive to You such that I can hear Your voice even in my daily activities - I want to walk in natural and spiritual wisdom," I asked God.

So I went to His word and started reading, and God says, "When trying to decide which option is best or what path to choose, ask yourself, 'which way would bring God glory?' If God would be honored in any decision, then choose the one you like most. God hasn't put you on earth to make you miserable. A lot of Christians mistakenly think that the most miserable option must surely be God's will. That's not true. God has given you preferences and passions on purpose. He knows you will accomplish more for the kingdom when you are working in an area you love. If bringing God glory is your first priority, then you will always make wise decisions. They may sometimes be tough, but in the end, you will have made the right choice."

Ahh.. Right!
Hearing from God; Giving Him glory.. Making Him the first priority..
That's wisdom in decision-making!

God loves speaking to me through His word. I also must seek Him more in His word.. AND pay attention! :D
Amen!

Our spiritual metabolism

2007-05-29T23:33:00.000+08:00

I recently had a revelation about training ourselves in godliness..

"The apostle Paul warned Timothy, “Have nothing to do with godless myths and old
wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly.” 1 Tim 4: 7.
In an age when everything is instant, we expect transformations to happen quickly but
there is no such thing as instant godliness. The apostle wrote, ‘Train yourself to be
godly’. He exhorted Timothy to be disciplined in order to attain godliness."

Here, we can see that godliness isn't something that comes naturally, or without any hard work, but something that requires exercise; training; discipline.

The Bible constantly urges us to be holy, to live lives that please God, hence to do that, we need to discipline our flesh and here's what I learnt:

My boyfriend explained to me about our metabolic system.
He says that to get our metabolic system going, we need to be constantly pushing it beyond its limits. Like for example, when we run, we need to push it beyond what we can bear, so that when we stop, the body is still in gear; the metabolic rate is still in motion. And as for our daily lives, even when we are doing mundane things like taking the lift, we can lift our bags to work our arms, and such little exercises keep our body going. This is so that even when we are not doing anything, our body's metabolism goes into auto-pilot, and is always in gear.
I see it as the same way as our spirituality.
In training ourselves up in godliness, we need to constantly crucify our flesh, such that on its own, we are always in tuned with the Spirit. Like, for example in little ways like praying.. Whenever we don't feel like praying when we should, we should crucify the flesh and push it a little such that even when at rest, the body (us) is always in the Spirit zone.

..And now, time for a little pushing ;)

Revelation about love

2007-02-21T16:57:00.000+08:00

I had a revelation about love..

The bible says, Love bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:7);
To bear all things evil, and is not overcome. This is the idea of bear. Love bears up against the tide of evil, as the rock against the waves. Believes all things, is not distrustful and suspicious; Hopes all things, is hopeful instead of despondent and hopes for the best. How hard for the loving mother to give up on her recreant son! Endures all things; To endures patiently persecution and suffering. And here, the cardinal quality of fortitude, hardihood and unyielding persistence is meant.

Love is not on the basis of how the person is to you. It is to love irregardless. That loving someone is not on the basis of how well he treats you, or if he has a mood swing you love him less. That is not love. But the real kind of love is one that is borne purely inward (not out of an outward reciprocration), regardless of how the person treats you. And when you love that way, nothing the person do can affect your love for him. And even when the other party hurts you or upsets you, or even if it seems like the other party does not care, one can continue to love and give. For that kind of love is not circumstance nor person-driven.
And there can be greater joy in loving this way; to love irregardless. For half a heart is not a whole. To love wholly, is to give it your all. The same way God loves us.

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

too long..

2007-02-06T18:02:00.000+08:00

It's been too long since I last wrote in my good news journal..
Did God not bless me? Did He not speak to me? Of course not! He never stopped speaking; never stopped blessing. He is faithful. Always.
I was reading today's Daily Bread (February 6, 2007) on Spiritual Passion:

I have this against you, that you have left your first love. —Revelation 2:4

"Why does spiritual passion fade so easily? When we first experience God’s love, we spend hours thinking about Him, studying His Word, and telling others how much He means to us. Then it happens. Our busy schedules slowly dampen our passion. Our longing for Jesus and our study of His character become an occasional glance. Surely the object of our affection hasn’t changed!

The church at Ephesus wrestled with maintaining its spiritual passion. Jesus, through John, wanted to help them restore and maintain their love and zeal for Him. Although He commended this church for their work, Jesus saw that they had abandoned their first love—Him (Rev. 2:4).

The Ephesians had lost their spiritual passion for Jesus. It had become a cold and mechanical orthodoxy. I wonder if they had allowed the stealthy culprit of religion and busyness to enter their hearts. Whatever it was, something had stolen the affection they had once reserved for the Lord.

Have you allowed something to steal your passion? If so, it can be restored and maintained when you consistently remember His amazing love demonstrated at Calvary. Repent of your sinful, unloving attitudes, and out of love for Jesus repeat your "first works" (v.5). —Marvin Williams

What once was filled with wonder
Lies cold within my heart;
Return, O Lord, that wonder,
And may it not depart. —Sper

Devotion to Jesus is the key to spiritual passion."

... and so I decided to continue from where I left off..
Hence my first entry for the year :)

No matter what happens, we will never cancel out God's love for us.
The bible says, Draw close to God and He will draw close to you (James 4:8) and it cannot be more true than that. Which is why, no matter how spiritually low or dry you feel, never stop seeking Him. When troubles come, run TO Him, not away from Him. Even when you feel guilty, ashamed or even embarrassed, go TO your Father. When we take one step towards God, He will take a thousand steps towards us. Don't entertain thoughts of condemn and escape from Him. Should you feel low, my advice is to squeeze out any ounce of energy to seek after Him, and you will be glad you did so, for you will be rewarded. I have been, that's why I can testify to that.

He never fails.
He is faithful, and His mercy endures forever.

my tongue is the pen

2006-10-26T12:09:00.000+08:00

I've always loved to write. Sometimes when I don't know how to speak to God, I start by writing to Him. Tonight, as I sit on my desk attempting to write Him a song or a poem, I prayed, "God, let me worship You with my pen." I proceeded to write and then God said, my tongue is the pen of a skilful writer. Ps 45:1

Speak, keep on speaking, the Lord says.
If you think your prayers are weak, keep on praying.
The Lord does not despise every prayer you make.

I couldn't ask for a better friend, Lord
You're my Saviour and my God
With You I find eternity
In You I trust completely

Every page of my life is a new beginning,
so wonderfully written by You.
Every chapter is a revelation,
Every journey is a discovery.
Thank You Holy Spirit,
for You are with me.

Doing

2006-09-03T00:08:00.000+08:00

Why I do the things that I do.

Not so that I may earn or keep my salvation but rather cos I love Him and I wanna please Him, no more than a child wanting to please her parents just by being a good girl. EVEN with the knowing that they love me all the same.

I remember this song my 5 yr-old friend taught me when I was 10...

"Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible tells me so
Jesus loves me when I'm bad
Tho' that makes Him very sad
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
For the bible tells me so"

On my bible reference, it says, "How hard should we obey the bible?"
Then the king stood in his place and made a covenant before the LORD, to follow the LORD, and to keep His commandments and His testimonies and His statutes with all his heart and all his soul, to perform the words of the covenant that were written in this book. (2 Chronicles 34:31)

I thank the Lord God for His encouragement and assurance that all things we do, no matter how little and whether it is done in the secret or in the open, He knows. And I wanna encourage all of us to continue to be faithful in the little things, for they do not go unnoticed. Tho' we do not do it for a reward, but we do it out of our love for our Lord Jesus Christ, who is always faithful and ever loving.

Forgiveness

2006-09-02T23:29:00.000+08:00

To a dear friend,
I write to you with love... on what I know to be biblical; to be God's word and truth... I preach not, and will not impose this upon you, for God gives us free will, and will never force Himself upon us. Hence, I write in here to share with you on the topic of forgiveness...

"Teach us how to pray," the disciples said to Jesus. (Luke 11:1) He answered by teaching them the prayer we call the Our Father or The Lord's Prayer:

"...Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. "

This petition of the Lord's Prayer is a demanding one. Not only do we ask God's forgiveness for our daily offenses, but we link God's forgiveness of us with our forgiveness of others. Forgiving others is not always easy to do. We need God's help to do it. But it must be done or we ourselves cannot receive God's mercy.

The parable of the unforgiving servant:
“But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ (Matt 18:28)
Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
“So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” (Matt 18:32-35)

When I speak of the unforgiving man, I speak of the man who is stubborn, whose heart is hardened and who finds no room in him to offer forgiveness to others even as he is forgiven. I trust that my friend has been offered grace by our Lord God, and has rendered forgiveness to others even when it is difficult. Surely our Lord is bigger than any of our sins, but He asks that we forgive others as He forgave us.
“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. (Mark 11:25)

And with so many verses from the bible where God asks us to forgive, surely it is His will that we forgive so that we may too be forgiven.

Dear friend, I write to you with grace and peace in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and I trust that you have forgiveness as the Lord has been gracious in forgiving us. The unforgiving man I speak about is not you, but the one whose heart is hardened, who finds no room in his heart to forgive. For if God's spirit is in us, surely we will always have room to love and to forgive, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

Amen.

So you think it is not fair..

2006-08-16T11:37:00.000+08:00

When I was younger, I used to hold anti-Christ sentiments, thinking that it was not fair that one man could save all. I mean, but of course, he's God, isn't he? Surely it's a breeze for him, doing all that he did.
"That's so unfair!"

But here's what made me see the light, so thought I really oughtta share it:

"I have heard some people complain that if Jesus was God as well as man, then His sufferings and death lose all value in their eyes, 'because it must have been so easy for Him'. The perfect submission, the perfect suffering, the perfect death were not only easier to Jesus because He was God, but were possible only because He was God. But surely that is a very odd reason for not accepting them? The teacher is able to form the letters for the child because the teacher is grown-up and knows how to write. That, of course, makes it easier for the teacher; and only because it is easier for him can he help the child. If it rejected him because 'it's easy for grown-ups' and waited to learn writing from another child who could not write itself (and so had no 'unfair' advantage), it would not get on very quickly. If I am drowning in a rapid river, a man who still has one foot on the bank may give me a hand which saves my life. Ought I to shout back (between my gasps) 'No, it's not fair! You have an advantage! You're keeping one foot on the bank'? That advantage - call it 'unfair' if you like - is the only reason why he can be of any use to me. To what will you look for help is you will nt look to that which is stronger than yourself?"
(Mere Christianity, CS Lewis)

The perfect penitent.

level of faith

2006-08-16T11:10:00.000+08:00

I have a thing about waiting for buses and praying for them. So, just wanna share one of them:

That day, I was leaving from work and since I was late, I prayed for my bus to come. As soon as I did that, I started to hurry to the bus stop, for I knew in my heart that God was gonna send the bus to me. And the moment I set foot on the bus stop, my bus arrived! At that point, there was only one thing on my mind,

"If you have the faith to believe, God will be faithful to deliver."
..just a revelation to a very simple example.

when you believe, believe with all your heart, mind and body.

Waiting, in the Hope

2006-08-08T00:23:00.000+08:00

I have been praying in THE hope, for the bible says, "Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." (Rom 8:24-25) And I am waiting patiently in THE hope :)

But the hope is not passive.

For the waiting is not moving from nothing to something, but from something to something more, as I learn in "Finding My Way Home" by Henri Nouwen.

"..there is none of that passivity in Scripture. Those who are waiting are waiting very actively. They know that what they are waiting for is growing from the ground on which they are standing. If we wait in the conviction that a seed has been planted and that something has already begun, it changes the way we wait. Active waiting implies being fully present to the moment with the conviction...

Then Mary said, “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

A waiting person is a patient person. The word 'patience' implies the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden will mainifest itself to us. Impatient people expect the real thing to happen somewhere else, and therefore they want to get away from the present situation and go elsewhere. But patient people dare to stay where they are. Waiting, then, is not passive. It involves nurturing the growth of something within.

Waiting is also open-ended. Zechariah, Elizabeth, Mary, Simeon and Anna were filled with hope. Their hope was trusting that fulfillment would come, not according to their wishes, but according to the promises of God. Their hope was open-ended."

I pray that even as I wait, I do not lose sight of the call of God and get too obsessed over what I am waiting for, but rather to remain open to the call of God; to be sensitive to His voice, that I may be so versatile to move in His ways, according to His will for me. Thank You Jesus for the hope that I have in You.

Guard against thieves

2006-08-01T14:29:00.001+08:00

Praying for deliverance, I received another tip on how to guard/ consecrate our minds:

"One of the early fathers said: "When thieves approach a house in order to creep up to it and steal, and hear someone inside talking, they do not dare to climb in; in the same way, when our enemies try to steal into the soul and take possession of it they creep all round but fear to enter when they hear that...prayer welling out."

That is why the bible tells us to pray unceasingly.

Amen.

sin in your dreams?

2006-08-01T14:20:00.000+08:00

Knowing how I could ask God if I had any questions, I wondered out of curiousity and asked if we could sin in our dreams. Then when I was reading Reaching Out...

"What is the source of those unbecoming nocturnal phantasies? he said: "They arise out of the disordered movements of the soul that occur during the day. But if a man should occupy himself with the judgements of God and so purify his soul and concern himself constantly with good matters and things pleasing to God, then these things will fill his dreams (instead)."

I love how God answers me all the time :)

Solitude

2006-07-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

With regards to a certain dispositional problem, I kept questioning myself as to why I had reacted that way, so I sought God for help..and I asked Him to help me understand the problem. I also asked God about solitude and loneliness...

I prayed that God speak to me.
And He is faithful (ALWAYS) to guide me as I walk with Him.

I always try to be like Jesus as best as I can; to be compassionate; to be more tolerant; to be patient, but more often than not, I fail, and I snap at my family or friends. Although my latest achievement is that I am getting slightly better at being more patient with strangers. Nonetheless, I still feel inadequate.
And as I asked the earlier question, God showed me the importance of sorting out my personal issues (for the first and most important aspect of healing is 'diagnosis'), and in my case, an intra-personal diagnosis.

He pointed,
"As long as we are lonely, we cannot be hospitable because as lonely people we cannot create free space. Our own need to still our inner cravings of loneliness makes us cling to others instead of creating space for them."

And as a response to my personal problem I was facing, He had this to say,
"When we feel lonely we have such a need to be liked and loved that we are hypersensitive to the many signals in our environment and easily become hostile toward anyone whom we perceive as rejecting us."

Solution: To empty your heart and mind. To become completely poor. For when you have given of yourself totally, even the thief has nothing to rob you of, hence there is nothing to defend.
[Henri Nouwen, Reaching Out]

Drowning in the sea of sentimentality,
I struggled to swim.
As I battled in blindness,
I started to see..
Till I learn to love,
I cannot cope.
Till I learn to loose,
I could not contend.
But as long as I am faithful to seek,
God is faithful to speak.

if you want Him, show Him you want Him

2006-05-30T02:25:00.000+08:00

I pray often for God to change me.
I want to be more like Jesus.

..and then I realised: If I wanted to be more like Jesus, where is that 'wanted'?
I mean if I 'wanted' to be more like Jesus, surely there should be greater discipline in working at it. It definitely wouldn't be sincere if I just sat in front of my computer at work, wishing I could glorify Him, and then after that, doze back off to sleep. Where is the 'want' in this case? Where is the effort? It is ironical to say I love Him, and then expect Him to change my heart so I can love Him more.

I must demonstrate more of the 'want' in my day-to-day life.

I thank that God is full of grace and mercy, and He loves me nonetheless.
I thank that I can lean on Him for strength. God IS my strength.

I do my best, God will do the rest.

Thank You Jesus.

Don't seek after a sign

2006-05-30T02:22:00.000+08:00

About a day later, after I thought about what I did back home.. staring at the sky, hoping to see what my future would bring, I was reminded of a bible verse in

Matthew 16:
' Hypocrites! You know how to discern the appearance of the sky, but you can't discern the signs of the times!
An evil and adulterous generation seeks after a sign, and there will be no sign given to it..

I shouldn't attempt this again; staring at the sky, hoping for a sign.
Ya, getting up and getting back to work was correct.
mental note: Don't do this again :p

work

2006-05-26T17:22:00.000+08:00

For a long time, I have lost the passion for my work.
I drag my feet to the office and I am always late.
I hate to admit it, but the way I work brings no glory to God.

God said, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men." (Col 3:23-24)

Martin Luther said, "A dairymaid can milk cows to the glory of God."

"Do everything as it you were doing it for Jesus and by carrying a continual conversation while you do it", that is the secret to a lifestyle of worship. (2004, Rick Warren)

I learn..

focus your eyes on eternity

2006-05-23T00:50:00.000+08:00

This morning, I woke up feeling rather sombre and God comforted me,

"If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. (Col 3:1-2)

An eternal perspective means that you look at today's events in light of eternity. Does today's 'crisis' have any bearing on eternity? Will it matter when you get to heaven? Will it even matter in 100 years? Is it worth all the anxiety, worry and pain? Since you have been raised to life with Christ, then think about things with a heavenly mindset."

Yes. I must.

definition of judging

2006-05-23T00:23:00.000+08:00

On Sat morning, after I finished my prayer, as I was keeping my notebook, something came to mind.

"Not judging is not forming a conclusion or an opinion about something."

As soon as I had that thought, I wondered where that came from.. I mean, I wasn't even praying about anything close to that that morning..

But I wrote it down anyways.

And then I smiled at the thought knowing that God has just drawn the line for me :)

cos to tell the truth, I am a rather judgemental person, so I pray often about it, and I ask God to forgive me of my sin of judging. And that morning, God has made it easier for me. How better to avoid making the mistake than to know exactly what is wrong so you do not do it.

"You, then, why do you judge your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgement seat. Therefore let us stop passing judgement on one another."
(Rom 14:10, 13)

Amen.

Put your trust in the Lord

2006-05-22T01:34:00.000+08:00

Some people say, "You can't trust men but you can trust God."
Some say, "You can trust God but you can't trust men."
Seemingly similar but each appears to send a different message.
I should think the 2nd statement sounds more pessimistic..
and then I think.. so what is it?
Which should come first?

..and then I realised of course the Bigger one has the final say.

What I mean is, no matter what happens,
ultimately we can always trust God to set everything right,
for "In everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose." (Rom 8:28)

amen.
We have a good God.

Talkin to Jesus

2006-05-20T01:33:00.000+08:00

Y'know, keep talkin to Jesus. Cos He is listening. God says seek and you will find, ask and you shall receive. You have not because you ask not!
"Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." (John 16:24)

So anyways, this noon, I was getting exasperated with myself, so I asked God. "God, what can I do with these thoughts of mine? Why do they keep coming? Am I thinking these thoughts knowingly or unknowingly and what can I do about it? God I pray that You will teach me. Holy Spirit, You are my guide, my shepherd and my teacher."

And... this evening, strange but not so strange, God taught me what to do.

"Suppose I ask you to take care of my house while I am out of town. You pledge to keep everything in great shape. But when I return, I find the place in shambles. The carpet is torn, walls are smeared, furniture is broken. Your explanation is not impressive: some bikers came by and needed a place to stay. Then the rugby team called, looking for a place for their party. And of course there was the fraternity-they wanted a place to hold their initiation ceremony. As the owner I have one question: "Don't you know how to say no? This is not your house. You don't have the right to let in everyone who wants to enter.
Ever think God wants to say the same to us?

GUARDING OUR HEARTS

You've got to admit some of our hearts are thrashed out. Let any riffraff knock on the door, and we throw it open. Anger shows up, and we let him in, Revenge needs a place to stay, so we have him pull up a chair. Pity wants to have a party, so we show him the kitchen. Lust rings the bell, and we change the sheets on the bed. Don't we know how to say no? Many don't. We think much about time management, weight management, personnel management, even scalp management, but what about thought management?

The answer is surprisingly simple.
We can be transformed if we make one decision: I will submit my thoughts to the authority of Jesus.

To have a pure heart, we must submit all thoughts to the authority of Christ. What I mean about authority? Here's how it works.

A GUARD AT THE DOORWAY
The Holy Spirit is ready to help you manage and filter the thoughts that try to enter. He can help you guard your heart. He stands with you on the threshold. A thought approaches, a questionable thought. Do you throw open the door and let it enter? Of course not. You 'fight to capture every thought until it acknowledges the authority of Christ' (2 Cor 10:5) You don't leave the door unguarded. You stand equipped with handcuffs and leg irons, ready to capture any thought not fit to enter. For the sake of discussion, let's say a thought regarding your personal value approaches. With all the cockiness of a neighbourhood bully, the thought swaggers up to the door and says, "You're a loser. All your life you've blown relationships and jobs. LOSER." So rather than let the thought in, you take it captive and march it down before the judgement of Christ. "Jesus, this thought says I'm a loser and will never amount to anything. What do You think?"
See what you are doing? You are submitting the thought to the authority of Jesus. If Jesus agrees with the thought, then let it in. If not, kick it out."

See? If we ask God, God will be faithful to answer. How? Some may ask. How would I know that it is Jesus who is talkin to me?

1) Walk close with Him
To understand someone really well, you communicate with the person a lot. Dwell with the person. So, same with God. Talk to Him, sing to Him, dwell and bask in His presence. Feel His love and let Him surround you everyday; Spend time.

2) Read the word
The Word is God.
How can we know God without reading the word? 'In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.' (John 1:1)

3) Be sensitive to Him
If a voice within your heart is tellin you something and you think it is God and you want to be sure, confirm it with Him. Ask Him and He will be faithful to answer. Or talk to someone about it; Ask an elder, for 'in the multitude of counselors there is safety' (Prov 24:6)

Amen.

"Y'know, God I love Your voice, I love when You speak to me cos You teach me so much and most of all, You teach me to be more like Jesus. I love You. You bring joy to my heart. You bring water when it is dry, You bring peace where there is noise. You are love. I can love You because You first loved me. You teach me how to love You. Oops, I'm blabbering as I speak to You. I love You so. Words are not enough. Thank You Lord. I love You. I want to walk in righteousness."

'If you love me, you will obey what I command.' (John 14:15)

Amen.

Convicted

2006-05-18T09:34:00.000+08:00

I prayed to God to fill me with greater compassion, patience and tolerance. I had felt that I was such a lack-love that I told God I must be the most unsympathetic Christian around. Yet God was faithful to answer my questions and prayers promptly each time…

Prior to this, I have had to nurse a sick friend albeit unwillingly. Then God told me “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
Romans 12:9-13 (NIV)

And then, another time, I had gotten upset with a friend. I went home thinking I’ll probably not want to go out with him anymore but I asked God to speak to me nonetheless, and He said, “We are to resolve the differences that divide us.” I was taken aback, for that surely called for obedience. So I quickly picked up the phone and smsed my friend to clear things up.

During this whole period of time, I was feeling physically lethargic and was reluctant to avail myself for many church-related activities, even my ministry, giving myself the ‘reason’ that I should lead a balanced lifestyle by not stretching myself. Then God spoke to me amidst my tiredness, “I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others.”
2 Cor 8:8 (NIV)

By now, I was pretty blown away. I mean, for every doubt I had, God had an answer and more amazingly, He spoke to me in verses that couldn’t have been more specific.

One fateful day, I had woken up a little tired and while sitting on the bus reading my bible, I felt that Holy Spirit tell me, “Do not take His grace in vain.” Later that day, God was to speak to me about a statement I made.. It was this day that I told God I must be the most unsympathetic Christian around. And God showed me the narrative of a leper:

“For five years no one touched me. No one. Not one person. Not my wife. Not my child. Not my friends…
What is common to you, I coveted. Handshakes. Warm embraces. A tap on the shoulder to get my attention. What I would have given to be bumped into, to be caught in a crowd.. But for five years, it has not happened. I was not allowed on the streets. I was not permitted in my synagogue. Not even welcome in my own house. I was untouchable. I was a leper. And no one touched me. Until today..

The banishing of a leper seems harsh, unnecessary. The Ancient East hasn’t been the only culture to isolate their wounded, however. We may not build colonies or cover our mouths in their presence, but we certainly build walls and duck our eyes. And a person needn’t have leprosy to feel quarantined..

At the sight of me, fathers grabbed their children. Mothers covered their faces. Children pointed and stared. I grew so tired of the damnable bell I was required to wear around my neck to warn people of my presence. One glance and the announcements began, “Unclean! Unclean! Unclean! The rags on my body couldn’t hide my sores. Nor could the wrap on my face hide the rage in my eyes. I didn’t even try to hide it. What did I do to deserve this?

Moved by desperate anger, I stepped out. “Master!”

“Lord You can heal me if you will.”

“I will.”

But He wasn’t satisfied with speaking to me. He drew near me. He touched me. Energy flooded my body like water through a furrowed field. In an instant, in a moment, I felt warmth where there had been numbness. And I will never forget the one who dared to touch me. He could have healed me with a word but he wanted to do more than heal me. He wanted to honor me, to validate me, to christen me. Imagine that..unworthy of the touch of a man, yet worthy of the touch of God.”

The book then went on to ask,
“Jesus touched the untouchables of the world. Will you do the same?

Let he who has ears to hear, use them. How long has it been since you had your hearing checked? When God throws seed your way, what is the result?

May I raise a question or two to test how well you hear God’s voice?

How long has it been since you let God have you?
I mean really have you? How long since you gave Him a portion of undiluted, uninterrupted time listening for His voice…”

At this time, I was deeply convicted in my heart. My tears flowed down my cheeks as I walked out of the MRT train. “God.. Your touch… I can never live without Your touch, I can never leave You.. I never want to drift away from You..”

What I experienced that evening was immense. And it wasn’t just the book or the very anointed service I subsequently attended. It was God. I was completely overwhelmed. I think when God wants to speak, there is no hiding from it. God is faithful. God is real. We can never walk away from Him. I wouldn’t want to. I couldn’t.

Pastor Phil was right. Prayers open heaven.
For something to happen in the natural, it must first happen in the spirit. For the past weeks, I had prayed for God to convict my heart towards Him. Amen.

A purpose for everyday

2006-04-21T10:26:00.000+08:00

Day in, day out; we wake up, go to work, do the things that we do, sometimes blindly, sometimes not even knowing what we are doing or why we do the things that we do..
So, before I left for work today, I prayed to God, to help me see the purpose in the everyday of our lives; that I may live out each day with a purpose; that the Holy Spirit help me lead a purposeful life.

Then in the cab, I took out Running With Giants and began to read about Rebekah, the woman who generously offered not only the chief servant of Abraham a drink, but also all his camels. Indeed it was no small offer, for that simple gesture, she would have to take at least 2 hours to finish giving all the camels a drink!
The book talks about going the extra mile and in contrast to the world today, people are thinking about doing the least, expecting the most. Few desires to do more than they must. And this reminded me of my appraisal (form), where one is judged on how much he or she meets what is required. And of course, the highest (score) is awarded for frequently fulfilling beyond what is required, and taking the initiatives to do more to improve in the job. Sure sounds like they are looking for the 'Rebekah' amongst us.

As an ending to the chapter, Rebekah made this prayer for us:

Sovereign Lord,

I ask that you would give my friends the eyes to see opportunities in the everyday events of life, the hands to reach out and give more than is required or expected, and the heart to do so with that motives that are pure and not self-seeking.

Amen

"Yes Lord, I pray that You empower me to fulfil the purpose for which You have called me."

strengthen your leader

2006-04-12T16:26:00.000+08:00

I haven’t quite agreed with the ways of my leader and recently the disagreement has become increasingly high but I tell myself that all authority has been given by God and I should walk in obedience.

Tonight God spoke to me through the book RUNNING WITH GIANTS
Jonathan (David’s good friend):
“I did not serve David because I lacked potential. I served him because he had greater potential. Remember, it takes a lot of king-makers to make a king! Every time you encounter people with a potential, you must make a choice. You can either hurt them or help them. As I helped my friend David, I knew that I was serving God, and whatever benefits the nation of Israel received came about in part thru my efforts. The same is true for you. You don’t have to be on the front lines to share in the rewards or to make a great impact. Strengthen your leader and you can help save your nation.”

Jesus has an answer for everything. If we seek Him with all our hearts, we can find Him while He may be found. I pray to God to continually change my heart. I must never be complacent. God, take away my elitist mindset. Jesus You are my shepherd and I love Your guidance. Amen.

Put on the armor of God

2006-04-10T02:12:00.000+08:00

I had been feeling a little under the weather due to the many things that are happening around me. Then God gave me a word for my current season, and He wants me to meditate upon it day and night:

Eph 6:10-20 The Whole Armor of God

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.
Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness,
and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.
And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;
praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints
and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel,
for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

"Thank You Lord for Your encouragement."

Indeed, when we seek God, He is faithful to show up and speak to us in our situations.

jogging with God

2006-04-10T01:58:00.000+08:00

I learnt this while jogging...that running on a flat (non-slope) track can actually be the most tedious. As we all know, jogging on a descending slope is the easiest as gravity naturally pulls us down. Going up slope on the other hand, tho' arduous, it gives one the satisfaction and thrill of ascent.
So, I see the entire journey very much like a believer's spiritual/ prayer life. When we are going downhill in our life, it is very easy to backslide and go with the tide, hence we must always be very careful, or at the very least be conscious whenever we are travelling downslope.
When we are going uphill, every step has to be taken with greater effort in order to keep us going forward and that surge of strength from within will propel us further, like how every trial only makes us stronger at the end of it. And we can always look to Him for strength.
When there is nothing going on in our life, when things appear to be smooth sailing, we must never grow restless or complacent. In fact, it is during this part of the journey that we must remember to continue to keep focused so we do not lose our momentum and sidetrack.

"Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go." Joshua 1:7

"Lord, keep my feet on the track, on the path You have designed for me and lead me and guide me that I may obedient at every juncture and be dilligent to seek You always. God is my pacer, and Holy Spirit, help me keep my focus always. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

How can we remain pure

2006-04-10T01:40:00.000+08:00

The very next night, God shows me..
How can we remain pure?

He says, in Psalm 119:1-20:
' Aleph
1 [a] Blessed are they whose ways are blameless,
who walk according to the law of the LORD.

2 Blessed are they who keep his statutes
and seek him with all their heart.

3 They do nothing wrong;
they walk in his ways.

4 You have laid down precepts
that are to be fully obeyed.

5 Oh, that my ways were steadfast
in obeying your decrees!

6 Then I would not be put to shame
when I consider all your commands.

7 I will praise you with an upright heart
as I learn your righteous laws.

8 I will obey your decrees;
do not utterly forsake me.
b Beth
9 How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.

10 I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.

11 I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.

12 Praise be to you, O LORD;
teach me your decrees.

13 With my lips I recount
all the laws that come from your mouth.

14 I rejoice in following your statutes
as one rejoices in great riches.

15 I meditate on your precepts
and consider your ways.

16 I delight in your decrees;
I will not neglect your word.
g Gimel
17 Do good to your servant, and I will live;
I will obey your word.

18 Open my eyes that I may see
wonderful things in your law.

19 I am a stranger on earth;
do not hide your commands from me.

20 My soul is consumed with longing
for your laws at all times.

I thank God for following up on me. For His constant guidance.
God, I thank You for always speaking to me, thank You for Your faithfulness Lord, I love You.

Pursue Him with a pure heart

2006-04-04T11:09:00.000+08:00

I had been wondering for a while if it was alright to try to please God. Like if it was ok to do something out of your will just so God can see and be pleased with you. Not to win the approval of men really, but to win His favor. But in modern day lingo; to curry favor (my Father in heaven).

I had an answer for myself then.. I thought, of course dear, it is alright to want to please God.

So during my prayer time, I asked God. I said, "God is it alright to try to please You? In the things that I do.. like when I intentionally do things that You like, so that You would be pleased with me?" And His reply was,

"Pursue Him with a pure heart."

"The kingdom Jesus had come to establish was not a political regime, but a kingdom of the heart and of the Spirit."

Amen.
Thank You Jesus for speaking to me.

God is alive and He is still speaking very much to you and me today.

reciprocate

2006-03-01T22:52:00.000+08:00

One of the biggest hurdle during my quiet time is fatigue, so last night while worshipping God, the Holy Spirit reminded me:

"If you know to reciprocate when someone shows you love,
how much more should you bless the Lord
who has filled you with His grace and mercy."

With that, I was humbled by His presence and continued to worship the Lord my Heavenly Father who has been so gracious and merciful to me..

(The below is a song that speaks my heart)

O come let us worship and bow down;
Let us kneel before the Lord our Maker.

Lord God we worship you;
You are glorious in holiness,
full of love and compassion; abundant in grace and truth.

We confess that we have failed to recognise your greatness
We have tried to define you, to limit you, to cut you down to our size..
We are not always moved by the wonder of your love in Jesus Christ
We miss the breadth and the miracle of your grace.
There are times when the best can manage is a sort of formalised
and half hearted praise for all that you have done..
Lord we confess these and our other sins and failures.
We ask you to forgive us because of your grace and mercy offered in Jesus Christ.

Yes Lord, I worship You and give You all the glory, for all things were created through Him and for Him. And God You deserve all my praise. Amen.

guide

2006-02-21T10:48:00.000+08:00

I pray often for God to guide me in my ways, for He is my shepherd and I am His sheep and His sheep, they will hear His voice.

I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own. And other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must bring, and they will hear My voice; and there will be one flock and one shepherd. (John 10:14,16)

Indeed June was right, our praying life helps balance us. Whenever our prayer life dips, our life loses balance. Therefore we must never grow tired of coming before Him, seeking Him, worshipping Him, fellowshipping with Him.

This morning as I prayed, as I sought God and worshipped Him..
He impressed upon my heart:

The fear of the Lord is my guide
The joy of the Lord is my strength

(that) as I pray everyday for the Holy Spirit to guide me, walking in the fear of the Lord; obeying His word, doing His will, is my GUIDE.
And my strength comes from His delight, for God will honor those who honor Him, who revere Him. And That joy is my strength, and the strength gives me great joy.

I thank that He takes delight in me, in my righteousness. I thank Him for His grace that abounds so deep in me, I thank Him for His faithfulness and His mercies. Amen.

Of desires and temptations

2006-02-07T13:17:00.000+08:00

I've been writing to God very much ('cept I haven't posted 'em online), and He is faithful to answer me everytime.

Recently, I've been pretty haunted in that I've been struggling with my inclinations, temptations.

Last night, I learnt a few things.
As I was walking out of my office, I remembered a prayer I had made to God. I had told Him how much I love Him, and I don't wanna just talk the talk, I wanted to walk the walk.
And so, it hit me that my present circumstance was the best time to show Him how much I love Him, how I could use this opportunity to show Him that I choose Him and reject evil.
It was truly an opportune time and one of the best ways to show my love. for I can be rest assured that He will not let me be tempted beyond what I can bear, so I can stand up under it. (1 Cor 10:13).
And as far as this case is concerned, all I need to do is stay away from temptation and control my behavioural and environmental conditions.

"James (James 1:13-18) tells us that it is our own evil desire that begins this process that can only be described as a downward death-spiral of sin. The desire to sin is already within us. If it were not, sin would not be attractive to us. On first glance, you might think that sin is some sort of a magnet. But that is not true. The magnet is within you. It is your desire."

I just need to hold on toght on God's promises. And I will do just that.

While worshipping, I had a revelation about Him. Y'know, why did God make promises? He didn't make promises for fun or for no reason y'know. God made promises so they can be fulfilled. God is faithful. He couldn't deny Himself.
So. How can His promises come true? >> It is when we live it.
All the more we must have the courage, and be bold and obedient to follow the Word, for we can be sure that Christ is with us. Amen!

Leading a balanced life(time)

2006-01-03T01:09:00.000+08:00

My revelation for tonight..

Leading a balanced life..

*Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. Proverbs 27:17 (KJV)

How our cup can be filled..
By pouring it out so God can refill it..
We are not to only be takers, but rather be givers as well, but as we give of our lives, as we pour out our lives, there will be a transition period where our cup will be dry, and that's where friends can encourage one another.

Can God use a sponge?

2005-12-05T13:39:00.000+08:00

A few months back, I was annoyed with myself for being so easily influenced, so I called myself a sponge. I then asked myself “Can God use a sponge?”
Upon looking back, I know the answer now.

Yes.
God CAN use a sponge.

God wants people who are open, teachable, and always ready to soak up His word. People who are flexible. God’s ways are higher than our ways, His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isa 55:9). So, we need to remain ever ductile and malleable for His purpose. And we should always come before Him with an open heart; in obedience and in humility.

This is what I realised:

IF the sponge is constantly soaked up in the SAME pail of water and if that same sponge doesn’t go from pail to pail but obediently remains in God’s pail, he will be filled and God’s blessings can overflow to the people around.

May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope. Rom 15:13

In Psalms 23:5, the LORD your Shepherd said that He would fill your cup until it runs over. "Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over"

Be a sponge in God’s word.

Encourage me

2005-11-30T11:04:00.000+08:00

As I was walking to work yesterday, I asked God to come in and encourage me and comfort me..
I always ask God to encourage me whenever I feel a little low in my walk, cos I know when He encourages, He always does it in a big way :p

Last night during prayer meeting, Sy Rogers came!
and he preached in the 2nd session of our prayer meeting! (None of us were aware that he was coming.. cos it was meant to be a prayer meeting for our shift to Expo.. )

So, he preached about 4 criteria to living life.

1st criteria: Be and stay flexible
Because God doesn't work in your way and probably not in your convenience too.. He does it in His way and in His time. So don't hold onto your ideas too rigidly.
The supple reed will bend & sway with the wind and not break, but
a rigid reed will be broken. So, stay flexible and don't climb out of His hands.

2nd criteria: Learn to rebound from your mistakes because you will make them
-Keep trying till you find the door that opens to success
-Failure is a necessary component in the curve of success
-God takes manure and turns it into fertilizers
-A little mistake can help us stay vigilant and save us from bigger ones
but
"You play on the edge of sin
It won't be long before you fall in"

3rd criteria: Have a sense of humour (as an attitude towards life)
Psalm 68
"Make lemonade with lemons"
God gives, God takes away but I trust God for light in my plight.

4th criteria: Ability to persevere to see the bigger picture
Sy Rogers struggled for a decade with his iniquities before God came in to deal with them. He then asked God, "why now? You let me struggle for a decade before You decide to come in and poke at my tender spots??! and why now?? When I am in public ministry..?" and then God said 3 things to him:
a) 10 years isn't cosmic in the light of eternity
b) Who said big issues had to be resolved immediately?
c) Only when you are mature enough can I cut open your heart and do something about it

Ecclesiastes 8:6
There is a time and purpose for every procedure even tho' for now, your misery weighs heavily.

A 5-year old may want to drive a car badly but does he know any better?

"Don't give up on My character in the midst of your afflictions."
Exodus 23:29
for God will complete the great work He's begun in you.

So, cross the finish line and hear Him say "Well done!"

--
I thank You God for the encouragement. You are ever so faithful.. Keep me close to You Lord I pray, in the loving name of Jesus.
Amen.

my role

2005-11-18T13:07:00.000+08:00

God is so amazing.
In fact, I dunno how I should start.
Maybe I’ll just begin from where I last left off…

My role (in the Christmas drama).

Well, due to some changes, I’m no longer playing the main role. Concerned about me, sister Sandy and Pastor Eileen have been very supportive of me during this period.

So. Sister Sandy shared with me her testimonial as a late bloomer. She said that she’d always had a passion for acting, but because of her gifting in piano, she took up music instead of drama, in the Sch of Creative Arts. It was only a year later before she finally decided to pursue her dreams in acting. So, during her 2nd year, she switched from Music to Drama. Now, she continues to serve God in the music ministry as a keyboardist and at the same time, is fulfilling her dream in the drama ministry, getting involved in numerous church and community productions.

Pastor Eileen spoke to me too.

I’d left out a particular episode:
Before the decision to change the role, I was to have a final rehearsal with sister Sand’ and sister Jas’. And the night before the rehearsal, I sat by the pool and wrote to God. I thanked Him for the divine opportunity, for ‘rekindling’ my passion (or should I say reminded me of my dream I’d shelved for years). It was this time that I remembered how much I’ve always loved drama. I told Him I wanted to shine for Him.

So, back to pastor Eileen..
I then told pastor I would accept sister Sandy’s offer for a smaller role, and my decision to join the drama ministry. Like what sister Sandy said, acting is an art. And I too agree that acting is a craft that needs to be honed. So instead of sitting around and wait for another chance, I should use this time to work on my craft. I couldn’t deny what I told God. Even if I didn’t get the main role, I cannot pretend that I never had the talent to act anyway and chuck everything aside. If I had told Him I wanted to shine for Him, then all the more I should work on it. I need to show God I meant what I said and to use my talents for His glory.

And now, for the new story..
Less-than-one-week later, I got a call from my best friend.
Apparently she had bumped into Melody Chen who was urgently casting for a main role in her short film. So last night, I met up with Melody on the role.

I’m IN!!!

I will be playing Melody when she was in her 20s.

And know what’s the other amazing thing? The film depicts the stage in her life EXACTLY when I first knew her! Can you believe it?!

God never ceases to amaze..

“Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed.” Psalm 119:116

Amen.

Eat this scroll

2005-11-18T11:46:00.000+08:00

Last night, I thought to myself .. indeed it is very urgent that we be armed in the word and be strengthened in Christ. Because we meet new people everyday and anytime can be a good time to share our faith, to win the lost, to spread the gospel.

"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. " (1 Pet 3:15)

and then God spoke to me in EZEKIEL 2, 3:

"EAT THE SCROLL"
Then he said to me, "Son of man, eat this scroll I am giving you and fill your stomach with it." So I ate it, and it tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth. (Eze 3:3)

Indeed if we are to be strengthened, we need to be discipled in His word and meditate upon His precepts day and night.

-- In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God (John 1:1)

-- ...the Word was made flesh,
and dwelt among us...(John 1:14)

God, I love YOUR Word. Holy Spirit help me gain a greater understanding of the truth, and speak to me as You would, as You only can. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Heal our land

2005-11-16T11:12:00.000+08:00

I have been praying for healing for our land, and God shed light upon this verse:

"if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land."

2 Chronicles 7:14

Everything for a purpose

2005-10-23T00:55:00.000+08:00

Since we know that things happen for a purpose, we should look to recognise the reason for it, to learn and to grow rather than to see it merely as your destiny and be resigned to your fate. So therefore Seek God fervently and Inquire of Him everyday. Ask Him What is the ends to this?

I guess this could be the reason why God teaches us not to lean on our own understanding. (You know how sometimes we can get so discouraged and disappointed..?) Afterall, maybe our puny little brains (which we only use 10% of it) might just be a LITTLE INCAPABLE of understanding the INFINITE ways of God, you figure?

So, lean not on your own understanding. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6) Amen!

God encourages

2005-10-22T23:38:00.000+08:00

God is merciful. Amen.

This began all the way back in September during Children's Day big day (Children's Day). Being performers especially, we are to carry forth the anointing. It is most important during this period that we consecrate ourselves, keeping ourselves pure for the Lord. With greater Visibility (being creative leaders and all), comes greater accountability and responsibility.

With every big day, all the more we need a breakthrough!
Standing on stage during rehearsals, I experienced spiritual attacks on my mind. Past bondage came back to taunt me, and I was haunted by mental images that sprung up in my mind ever so often. Everytime it came, I did the only thing I knew how- Pray.
Feeling disturbed, I prayed for deliverance at home. I asked for forgiveness and I prayed for comfort and encouragement, for I was feeling unworthy.

God, being a good and merciful God, showed up the very next day to encourage me!
Whilst doing my makeup, exited lil' Madeline bounced up to me to show me an sms that said,
"Lingual and Madeline, sister Sandy would like to hear you out for an audition for a part in the Xmas drama today."
As I saw that I leapt for joy!!!! In fact, I was shivering with excitement as I ate my food..!! Christmas drama audition? Christmas drama? The most important event of the year? Christmas? Me? Lingual? God? You could use me? You could? WOW!!! I felt deeply comforted by God and I couldn't stop thanking Him for the opportunity!!!

Part II
Continuing with my prayers every night, I got a call-back audition, and following the call-back audition, sister Sandy called me one night to say that they wanna use a guy for the role instead but the role of Mary was still open and asked me to go down to try for it the next day. Mary?! I couldn't believe it in my heart? In fact, I was questioning within myself if I was even suitable for it, since I figured I look slightly young to fit the role of a mother. But yes, that was my carnal mind thinking..
Beyond the role, I somehow knew there be a message behind it. "Let it be to me according to Your word" That night, I tried to look in my bible for the story of Mary, but somehow I missed Luke 1 & 2, so I went online to search instead, and here's what I found:

She was beloved of God. He saw in Mary a woman who was after his own heart.
Do you have that same longing; are you looking for his return? Does God find favor in you? Do you become one with him in sweet intimate fellowship? Just imagine the encounter Mary had with the angel ringing out his salutation of "Hail!" Mary must have been caught off guard with surprise - or was she? Certainly she was filled with a lot of mixed emotions, but could it be she was in communion with God in prayer at the entrance of the angel appearing in her room?

What has your response been to the Lord when he has found favor with you? When he has given you a higher calling? Did you follow through with the directions the Lord gave to you or plodded, questioned and mucked your way through? Dear sweet Mary's response of, "Behold the maid servant of the Lord! Let it be unto me according to your word" is so precious to me. Oh! Sisters, her response should rock the very foundation of our souls!

That was it! I too had found favor with God! And I want to have the same response! The same willing response. "Let it be to me, according to Your purpose. I want to walk in Your perfect will", I prayed..

On the day of the audition (whilst walking on the road), I asked God, "God, what is my role, what do You want me to be?" As it was drizzling, I walked under the trees hoping to be shielded from the rain, and I felt God pointing to me that I am to be a tree- To provide shelter to those who seek it, and to be fruitful.."

Part III:
You know how some people serve a purpose in your life? They come, they go. They teach you things, they leave a message behind. And that was what I felt the 'Mary' role was about. It came in to tell me something. To share with me the story of a young woman who was willing, faithful and full of faith. It was also here that the verse, "Nothing is impossible with God" took on a deeper meaning.

Part IV:
I didn't do too well for the audition tho', so as I was walking outta the audition, I kept thinking about how I could've improvised the scene differently. But knowing what's done cannot be undone, and that audition's over, I just consoled myself that everything happens for a reason. The lines rang in my head so much, I started singing it and made it into a song, which I call MY Consolation song:

Everything has its purpose
Everything has its way
And if you just walk in His will
Everything will be ok

Don't you worry about a thing
All you have to do is pray
Just think about His promises
Everything will be ok

Have faith Have faith
That's what the bible says
Have faith Have faith
He loves you all the same
Have faith Have faith
Just trust Him anyway
Have faith Have faith
Everything will be ok

Oh and finally...
"hi lingual good news ... we've decided tt you'll act as chloe for xmas. rehs start this sunday at 630pm at jw. see u there."
Yippeee Yippeee Yeahh Yeahh!! Praise God!!!
Excitement surrounds me again.. and I tremble with joy...

----
By the way, I do have a song to remember God's goodness to me, for His encouragment..
It's named, "My God, My Love & My Lord"

You believed in me
Encouraged me when I pray
You lift me up when skies are grey
I thank You Lord for Your grace
I thank You Lord for each day

I remember that day
You came to me and You said
You’re here with me everyday
Lord You soothe my heart and I can say
I love to be in your warm embrace

I need You God
I want You God
You’re my God, my Love and My Lord
You’re here to stay
You’re with me everyday
I thank You Lord for Your Grace

I love You more with each day~

Hallelujah! God is good!

Change to a bigger frying pan!

2005-10-11T12:05:00.000+08:00

On Sunday, Pastor Carl-Gustaf preached on Faith: that will break your borders and give you beyond your wildest dreams (even if your wallet/ circumstances don't seem to allow it). Don't let your mind limit your dreams or thoughts on what you can do.

As the preaching ended, as we stood up to worship God, I was hit by a voice that started ringing in my head, "I want to goto Bible School, I want to goto Bible School, I want to go to Bible School!.." In fact, it was so loud, it was overwhelming, and tears welled up in my eyes. So fast, so sudden, I had to calm myself down and reply mentally, "yes yes.. I heard you..!" before the tears would stop.

I believe this is a dream from God. I dunno how this is going to be fulfilled but I will not inhibit the thought, the dream, of going to bible school next year. Because I am going and I am going and I am going. My faith is taking me there!

Every morning

2005-09-19T10:17:00.000+08:00

Get up every morning and say by faith, "Oh, I love You, Father, with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind and all my strength! And I love my neighbor as myself today because that pleases You and I love You!"

"Sacrifice your time"

2005-09-15T01:33:00.000+08:00

Last night during my quiet time prayer, I asked God what He would like me to sacrifice to Him.

I then heard Him in an instant, "Sacrifice your time."

>>Yes God, I will bear that in mind too..

I really pray that I will not merely listen to His word, but that I will learn to apply His principles into my life too:

James 1:22-25
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

Unfulfilled vows

2005-09-15T01:27:00.000+08:00

On Friday service, pastor Ulf talked about hindrances to reaching our destiny, and one of them was Unfulfilled Vows/ Promises to God.

Not wanting to live life with a broken promise to God, I asked Him, "God, is there anything that I've promised You and not yet fulfilled? I pray O'God that You will remind me, so I can keep to my word and mean what I say. I pray O'Lord that my ways may well-pleasing in Your sight."

A few days later, God answered me.

"Remember what you said to me as you were walking towards Club street that night? You said you wanted to be serious with me, and that you would show me that you were serious with me." : )

I write this down, cos I need to bear this in mind.

Heart of worship

2005-09-15T01:17:00.000+08:00

I confessed before God that I have not been dilligent in my walk with Him.

In church last Sunday, while worshipping God, God gave me a vision. I saw a girl kneeling before God in her lamp-lit room. That girl was me. Then, that image started zooming out till I could see her thru the window and the entire apartment block soon came into full-view. But God wasn't just looking at her praying. He was looking right into her heart. There, I felt that God was teaching me how to pray. He said, "Quieten your soul." (Because I had told Him that I am usually very distracted and my mind is always wandering.)

Ever since that vision, I feel it's become easier to come before Him especially when I know He is watching and looking into my heart.

God is looking for true worshippers.

Now, whenever I feel distracted, I would just quieten my mind so that I can focus better, and I feel it is helping..

Mercy Forgiveness

2005-09-15T01:10:00.000+08:00

One day, I decided to re-confess to God of my sins, for I was ashamed of myself. I confessed of my fallen nature and I sought His forgiveness once again. I was remorseful and I prayed for the Lord to speak to me as He only can, as He will, as He always has.

After prayers, I picked up my bible and God showed me the first verse which said, “I will hear what God the Lord will speak, For He will speak peace.” I got excited as that was my prayer to God! ..that I wanted to hear Him speak!

I then leaned my heart and listened all the more intently to what He had to say:

HE PROMISES TO READILY FORGIVE YOU

“For You Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.” (Psalm 86:5)

The bible notes then wrote about the prodigal son: it said Jesus told this story to give us a picture of just how ready God is to forgive us. He’s like that dad standing on the porch, looking down the road for you-running toward you when He sees you coming. He doesn’t forgive you because He has to. He forgives you because, like that dad, He loves you and what He wants more than anything else is to have you home with Him.

Praise God.

I thank God for His grace. His mercy endures forever. Indeed.

I feel so relieved knowing I can be cleansed and forgiven in His righteousness. His grace is more than sufficient for me! Amen!

God's word gives strength

2005-08-17T11:44:00.000+08:00

We are on a 3-day beverage-only fast. Yesterday on her way to our J7 rehearsal, June (our songleader) asked God for a message to give us, and during prayer, June reminded us that we are spirit beings and that we should not look at the surface. On the surface, circumstances may be as such, situations may be as such.. Our body may be weak on the outside, but we should always look on the inside. Because externally, we have a body, but internally it is the spirit that lives inside of us. So we should never look at things on the surface, but to look inwards to the spirit and walk in the supernatural. How apt.
She also reminded us that all things sown in faith into the kingdom of God is never in vain. The Lord sees and will reward us accordingly.
She is right. No matter what happens on the outside, I must understand that I am a spirit being merely living in my own body. I should not be letting my body control me, nor look at things in the natural. No matter how tired I may be, I should press in, press on, for all things sown in faith into the Kingdom of God will never be in vain :)

This morning, I read 1 Peter 4:

Therefore since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. For you have spent enouh time in the ast, doing what pagans chosse to do - living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation and they heap abuse on you. But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.

The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self controlled so that you can pray.

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength that God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus CHrist. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Moments before this, I was feeling slightly weak from the fasting. Then I received an email from a friend. Feeling encouraged by the message, "It's faith that moves the hand of God" and we could "pray our VICTORY in!!!", I thought I'd blog about last night. As I was copying and typing from the bible, I felt God's presence come upon me as strength seeped into my body.. I feel very much rejuvenated and refreshed now. I no longer feel physically weak, completely unlike this morning! Indeed, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! God's word strength; gives life! I have victory in Christ Jesus. Amen and Hallelujah! :D

Not without sacrifices

2005-08-11T10:38:00.000+08:00

During fellowship on Tuesday, whilst playing one of those sharing games, it was brought to my attention that I had come this far not without sacrifices, and that I am where I am through the choices I made. I found this puzzling yet amazing for this had come from someone I never had any close contact with. But he is right, there were sacrifices and choices.
I believe it could be God's way of telling me to keep on keeping on; to persevere.

Romans 6:
17 But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. 18 And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. 19 I speak in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves of uncleanness, and of lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves of righteousness for holiness.
20 For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. 21 What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. 22 But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end, everlasting life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

It also reminded me of a card I picked up:
"All humans on earth have the ability to choose what they want to become but unfortunately, many do not realise this. They allow events and circumstances to dictate and place them in their present status in life. Many have convictions on what is considered a good life yet they fail to Commit themselves to take appropriate actions. As a result, they are kept away from their desired goals.

You must take charge, control the condition of your mind-set and have the courage to step out of your comfort zone. Carry out your commitments consciously and consistently in order to bring them to the conclusions that you rightly desire and deserve."

At times, I feel tired, sometimes, I feel like giving up and slide back into the world. But God is reminding me, I have come thus far..

I guess in every race and every walk, encouragements can help motivate us along the way. Indeed, we have been set free, why should anyone want to slide back to the bondage of the flesh, having been set free. Why would I? That would be ridiculous wouldn't it?

I thank God for motivating me. Thank you Lord.

God never fails to speak to me

2005-08-03T03:02:00.000+08:00

I truly am very grateful to God for never failing to speak to me no matter what circumstances it may be..

Situation #1:
I had not gone home one night. Hence, failed to do my quiet time. In addition to that, the next night, as I was feeling very tired, I almost wanted to forego my quiet time again. However, I did it anyways in the end. And as I was reading my daily devotional for the night that I had missed, God said..

"Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says, "Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion..." Heb. 3:7-8

"(a) Warning against negligence Heb. 2:1-4

(b) Warning against sloth. (5:11-6:20) Sloth means laziness. You will find that the Bible warns more against laziness than drunkenness. When you become spiritually sluggish, you lose your ability to hear the voice of God so as to accurately discern spiritual matters.

If we keep rejecting the gentle prompting of the Lord to change, we can move into a place where there is no more room for repentance.
Let us walk in the fear of God, knowing that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."

As I read the above, I was both guilty and afraid, for indeed, God, was speaking to me about my problem. Then I proceeded to read the night's devotional and God said..

"Our inner soul yearns for communion with God. If that longing is not satisfied by communion with our heavenly Father, it will feast on any compelling counterfeit.

God is good. Jesus sympathizes with your many weaknesses and understands the pressures of life that you go through every single day. His throne is a throne of grace, not a throne of judgement."

He showed me that we can come to Him in all things, and I thank God for His grace. We should never forsake Him. He is faithful and His mercy endures forever.

Situation #2:
One of my friends' in dire financial straits so a group of us decided to fast for a breakthrough. Admittedly, I was feeling slightly lethargic. On the morning of my fasting, God encouraged me with Hebrews 10:24-25:
"And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching."

Indeed, we are a team and there should be greater unity in our spirit.
I thank God for His word, for out of His word flows rivers of living water. His word is treasure. His word brings life.

Pastor Eileen told us tonight, that in warfare (attack), everything has to be tripled; the soldiers, the ammunition..
I truly must be prepared. There is no time to lose and I must have greater urgency in my spirit. Holy Spirit, help me :)

Don't lose momentum

2005-07-26T15:30:00.000+08:00

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 2 Cor 6:9

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Gal 6:9

On the topic of sowing and reaping, Pastor Eileen says, that we are not to lose our momentum; we will receive our reward if we do not lose heart.
In line with what I’d prayed for a few weeks ago, I thought that I had been rather inconsistent in my spirituality, so I prayed that I’d be more steadfast in my spiritual walk with God, and surprisingly, a day later in a combined zone meeting in church, Pastor Derek prayed that all of us would be steadfast Christians. Strange cos "steadfast" isn’t an adjective my church typically use. But not so strange when you know that it is God who has heard your prayers : )

Peace

2005-07-09T12:04:00.000+08:00

Last night at cell group, God said in my heart, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

And subsequently during overnight prayer meeting, Pastor Tan said, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will rule and reign in your heart. Do not worry”

This morning, the Daily Bread (July 9 2005) talked about being careful with our thoughts and not worry about life’s necessities. (Matthew 6:25-34)

Gee… God musta really heard the fear and anxiety in my heart.. and God I hear you too. Indeed I will learn to put my trust in You, and depend on You more. My faith is in You.

F.A.I.T.H: Forsaking All I Trust Him.

Ministry meeting

2005-07-06T13:04:00.000+08:00

Ministry meeting last night was awesome, and Pastor Tan prayed for J7!
How it happened and what happened thrilled me greatly, and I’ve got several revelations.

1. Pastor asked J7 on stage to pray for us
2. He prayed that we would all treasure where we are, and what we have for the Lord
3. To use our talents for His glory
4. Not to be distracted by the things of the world
5. He prophesied that we will stay not only in Children Church but will also go out into the missionfields.

#1 The very act of going up on stage to be prayed upon meant something to me. We were VISIBLE. In a previous discipleship session with Pastor Eileen, she called us leaders, and mentioned that as leaders, as you go up, you become more visible, and you also have lesser options. As one become more visible, there is greater accountability and responsibilities.

#2 I thank God for where I am, I must say that my spiritual route has been amazing. Especially with J7 being my very first ministry, which is one of the most exciting place I can ever imagine myself to be; Being under Pastor Eileen’s discipleship; Sister Susan personally guiding me after my salvation; Everything so far has been such a blessing! I thank God for His grace and mercy.
*(For those who do not know about J7, it is like an equivalent of the Australian kid group Hi-5! Each member has had to go through 2 rigorous rounds of auditions and amongst many talented youths, specially handpicked by pastor and her team)

#4 It’s hard to make a stand, but God called us to be different and to be set apart for His glory. I must remember that.

#5 During church service last Sunday, we were shown a church video. In it, there were footages of our church members on mission trips. I dunno what happened to me then, but I was immensely touched, something in my heart said I must be there, and I will be there. I knew it was my spirit speaking so I immediately answered God and said, Yes Lord, I hear you. I will go where you want me to be. And I want to be on the missionfield. And Pastor Tan’s prophecy just confirmed what my spirit spoke to me in my heart.

I will always remember Pastor Eileen’s revelation in Acts 6: Seven Chosen To Serve “Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business”
She sent us (J7) this sms before,“We must watch our lives to ensure that we keep ourselves pure and spiritual. We need to set ourselves apart and sanctify ourselves.”

I must always remember to treasure where I am and what I have in the Lord. Thank you God for all Your blessings, and I pray that God You will help me keep my focus on You. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

shackles of perversion

2005-07-01T15:49:00.000+08:00

On Wed I prayed to God about shackles of perversion, He then spoke to me in my Daily Devotional the next morning (30 Jun) in Colossians 3

5Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

Legalism

2005-07-01T15:26:00.000+08:00

On Tuesday night, I prayed to God about legalism, and this is what He said to me in my Daily Devotional the next morning (29 Jun): Colossians 2:20-23
Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations-- "Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle," which all concern things which perish with the using--according to the commandments and doctrines of men? These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh.

I also realised the entire Colossians 2 was dedicated to the topic of Legalism, how timely can it be? : )

Phil 4:6-7

2005-06-28T14:28:00.000+08:00

bible memory verse #2:
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:6-7)

Amen.

Feeling secure

2005-06-28T14:12:00.000+08:00

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not
parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek
its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil. (1 Cor 13:4,5)
A wise mom once said, "Take it as a compliment that other girls think
your guy is great, too." Be secure enough to acknowledge their good
taste. If your relationship is about love, then jealousy can't be part
of it. Paul spends this whole chapter defining love. He is clear to
point out that true love is not jealous. Somehow we've confused this
and begun to think that if you love someone, you're supposed to act
jealous and possessive. Love is about serving, selflessness and
caring. Arrogance and jealousy are for the insecure. Have faith in
Jesus. He will bring the perfect mate for you. Learning to love and
trust someone means that you don't have to worry about who he talks
to, or who he's in the same room with. If your guy isn't trustworthy,
then he's definitely not the one for you. Don't even start a romantic
relationship with him. Start making friendships instead of dating.
That way you can spend time with different people until you find one
who lines up with your beliefs and values, the one you can have fun
with, the one you love, the one you trust completely. The possibility
of boyfriends and girlfriends will come and go. Don't give in to the
"gotta have a date" mentality. Commit to having holy courtships and
let God bring the one He has chosen for you. When it's really about
love, jealousy will lose out and trust will win.

Inside my beloved bible, the above spoke to me : )

Prayers work

2005-06-22T15:30:00.000+08:00

Prayers do work. God is faithful. Keep praying and meditate on His promises.

(17 june 2005)

He will not let you go. He loves you.

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Not by chance

2005-06-22T14:09:00.000+08:00

This must be told since nothing happens by chance, but that said, it never failed to amaze me still.

On Sunday 19 June, the sermon at my best friend's church was on the perfect will of God. So along that line of thoughts, she was wondering if she should still be as adamant on switching her line of work, cos’ looking back, one can't help but acknowledge that she has been very blessed. All the chances and lessons she received seemed to prepare her for her current job. Though it's never been her dream to be doing what she's doing, let's just say she enjoys her work, and many would die to be in her position. So, she thought maybe this job was God's will, so she shouldn't change it, since it does appear that He's more than led her here..

On Tuesday morning, I was doing my daily bible-reading. That morning's reading was Eph 4.. As I flipped thru the pages, I stopped at Eph 2 to look at the footnotes beneath:

Promise: He Promises To Have A Plan For You.

For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them (Eph 2:10)

"Most days just seem to go by like every other day. Same old stuff. Same old everything. Blah blah blah. One day runs into another one. You close your eyes and wake up to do it all over again. Doesn't seem like much of a plan, does it?

Maybe not. But God has an exciting plan for your life - a plan that will give you purpose and fulfillment beyond your wildest dreams. Following God's plan takes what He's planned for you to do. You don't just accidentally fulfil what He's planned for you to do. You've got to seek God and ask Him to reveal His plan to you and to give you understanding about how you can fulfil it. Then, you've got to determine to make every day count for Him and for His plan.

Pay attention to every decision you face - even the ones that seem so insignificant. Take seriously every person you meet - even the ones you don't like. Embrace every situation you find yourself in - even the ones that seem to make no sense at all. They're shaping you, moulding you, preparing you for the next decision, the next person, the next situation.

Lose yourself in doing what God wants with every aspect of your life. Live your life in light of His plan!"

Upon reading the above, I immediately checked my Daily Devotional. Guess what? Sunday morning's bible-reading was EPHESIANS 2. I hadn't read the (above) footnotes earlier cos’ I'd used a different bible that day. But look, God speaks, and I always find it so amazing whenever Q&A situations like that happen. God can speak right to our hearts and answer our questions specifically. Just never stop asking, seeking, knocking. I love God. He is my Only God, my love, my Lord.

A healing miracle!

2005-06-13T17:58:00.000+08:00

There is a miracle, so miraculous I didn’t know how to react to it, except to keep thanking Him.

After my prayer that night, I went back to bed to read my bible. My sister was sick and she was coughing the whole night. It was so bad that all the coughing made her start to wheeze, and the inhaler did nothing to help… Just hearing her cough made my heart ache cos I know how terrible she must be feeling since I am asthmatic myself. Halfway thru my bible-reading, I noticed her walk to the living room, so after I finished my quiet time, I went out to the living room to look for her. Mum had asked her to sit instead of lying down hoping it would help in her breathing. I sat down beside my sis, and assisted her with two puffs of the inhaler. After the medication, I asked her to close her eyes and think about God. I then laid hands on her and started praying. The whole time I was praying, I noticed that she had STOPPED coughing. There and then, I really didn’t know what to do, except to keep praying and keep thanking Him for healing. After a while I removed my hands, and asked her to lie down to sleep as I laid opposite her. Soon after, I heard her breathing normally as she fell asleep. In my heart, I was just so amazed, cos it was healing right before my very eyes! I so much wanted to jump up and kneel down to thank God but I didn’t wanna wake my sister up, so I just continued praying where I was. The first thing I did in the morning, was kneel before Him and thank Him. My sister went to the doctor subsequently and now her coughing’s completely stopped. Praise God!

Extraordinary, way beyond the ordinary, EXTRAORDINARY!

Daily encounter

2005-06-13T16:51:00.000+08:00

We must have a daily encounter with God.

“Life sometimes get pretty routine and you find yourself feeling stale and soggy on the inside. You find that you can’t spruce up your own heart… He promises to ‘quiet you with His love’. There is nothing that adds zest to life more than the breath wind of the spirit of God blowing thru your heart. It does more for you on the inside than a squirt from the garden hose on a steamy afternoon. It brings you back to life. It gives you passion again. It refuels your energy. And it stokes the fire of God that is inside of you. He does it all without thunder and lightning. He does it with such tenderness – just by His love, which touches all your deepest places. Zeph 3:17 (..He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing.) Never ever forget that you are the one who makes God sing and He is the one who ‘will quiet you with His love’.

I prayed to God to enrol me for bible school next year. As I prayed about it, I was touched by the presence of God. I told God I was hungry for greater understanding of His word and I have a deep desire to be discipled. Although I know there’ll be challenges but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Towards the end of my prayer, I opened my eyes and looked up into the sky. Staring at me was a face of a goblin formed by the clouds! I was so frightened that my heart started beating very quickly. Staring at the clouds, I kept proclaiming, “There is no fear in Jesus” And I kept repeating that till the facial features of the goblin started blurring to reveal just a plain cloud.

This taught me something. Wherever you are, whatever you do, especially in the face of fear, keep proclaiming Jesus! “Greater is the Spirit of God that is in me than any obstacle that stands before me.” (1 John 4:4) You have all authority! There is no fear in His perfect love. “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)

Thank you God, I am just so glad to experience You in my midst.

Indeed we all need a daily encounter with God.

1 John 4:7

2005-06-10T01:24:00.000+08:00

Today, I make a decision to memorise 60 bible verses
Lemme start with my favourite verse...

bible memory verse #1:
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God;
and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
1 John 4:7 (NKJV)

Preaching challenge

2005-06-10T00:34:00.000+08:00

What I also learnt from EMERGE:
The preaching challenge - "REVIVAL"

-by Crystal
#1 ONE-MAN REVIVAL
Be a revival carrier: Revival can happen thru ONE!
ONE Queen Esther!
ONE Moses!
ONE Nehemiah!
"Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young.
Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live,
in your love, your faith, and your purity" (1 Timothy 4:12)

-by Wayne
#2 COMPASSION FOR THE LOST
Aaron, who ran to the altar, caught the fire and saved Israel.
He literally stood in the gap between the living and the dead.
Are we gonna stand in the gap?
Are we gonna leave and abandon our parents who are unsaved?
Are we gonna leave and abandon our brothers and sisters who are unsaved?
Are we gonna leave and abandon our friends who are unsaved?
Are we gonna leave and abandon our loved ones who are unsaved?

"I want to run to the altar
And catch the fire
To stand in the gap
Between the living and the dead
Give us a heart of compassion
For a world without vision
We will make a difference
Bringing hope to our land"

I never really understood revival till now.. Indeed, revival CAN happen thru ONE.
There must be a daily encounter with God. An encounter with the Holy Spirit will not quench your thirst, instead it will make you all the more thirsty for God, more hungry for God.

"Like lovers who never met, their hearts pounded."
Does your heart pulsate to the beat of God?

We are made to worship God.

I want to think of Him everyday, miss Him everyday, hunger and thirst for Him every moment, every minute, to love Him and seek Him in all things.

Spiritual hunger

2005-06-09T11:11:00.000+08:00

Night service I @ Emerge conference:
I must admit I wasn't as fit as I was in the morning.. I hate it when tired-ness creeps in and I dozed off duing worship. Sheesh I felt so quilty. During the Word, pastor then spoke about spiritual hunger and elaborated on what it meant to lose the hunger and what happens.. (put almost in a rather biological/ medical way)

When you lose your hunger:

Weight declines: you lose glory, lose substance
Protein in your muscles break down: there is no more strength
Lose the desire/ ability to repoduce. You become Impotent. Unfruitful.
Temperature drops. You lose your senses
Immunity system breaks down. Can no longer say no to temptations
Lose your mind: Brain fails. You go towards carnal thinking
Heart failure: heart stops beating for God, cannot pulsate. No longer look Vertically up to Him, you stop loving Horizontally across; There is no more cross in your life.
Death: Spiritual death
Dehydration: no more water. (Jesus says Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." John 7:38)
Lose salt: No longer salt of the earth. (You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. Matthew.5:13)
Fever, lose spiritual judgement, discernment. No tears when you come before God. You are hot for the wrong reason.
Kidney failure: Can't cleanse yourself from impurities. you lose the sanctification.

Perhaps I had lost it a little somehow, but today God reminded me of how I used to come before Him. With hyms of love & intimate fellowship.

I need to renew my love for Him. We need to encounter God DAILY..
Thank you Lord for never giving up on me and I know You will never leave me.

" Draw me, O' draw me away
Messiah today
To Your presence I stay
O' Jesus
Change me
Mould me
That I can be
Evermore true to thee "

Amen.

church

2005-06-09T11:06:00.000+08:00

Church is not just church, if anyone will realise that.
It is beyond the singing of hyms, paying our tithes, fulfilling our weekly dues by attending service
It is a life.

I am at the right place

2005-06-08T13:00:00.000+08:00

To start this, maybe I need to refer to a previous experience to explain this better. I thought Pst. Phil is such an annointed man. I was in such awe of him. Someone who looked so hip to be so annointed. Anyways, let's fast-forward this to last Sunday. I was in church when they showed us the trailer for the EMERGE (youth) conference. In it, one of the footages was that of Pst. Kong preachin'. Within that few seconds, I was suddenly overcome by a tremendous emotional charge. There was only one thing in my mind:
" I a m i n t h e r i g h t p l a c e . "
That day, I seriously believed that Pst. Kong is such an annointed man of God.

Yesterday was the first day of the EMERGE conference, and like the woman with the issue of blood who pressed in through the crowds believing that if she only touched the garment of Jesus, she will be healed. I thoroughly believed that the annointing of God would flow through to me, when Pastor called us down to be prayed for. Immediately after I came back to my seat, I was in great tears. Shortly before I recovered, Pastor said he wanted to pray for those in the media and the arts, including Mass Comm students. This time, Sun would lay hands on us. With some hesitation tho', I walked down again. As I was worshipping God, Sun walked towards me, I closed my eyes, and as she laid hands on me, my hands were shaking as I fell! (I used to wonder why people tremble when they fall..) Yesterday, I felt it. Pastor Kong and Sun are truly annointed. Indeed the Holy Spirit is right.
" I a m i n t h e r i g h t p l a c e . "

Pastor says, if the economy is flourishing, it doesn't mean that the individal will also flourish, but if the church is moving, its members will be led with the flow. Not just any flow, but with the strong current of God. Thank you God for placing me here. I am in the right place. Amen.

I love my friend

2005-06-06T11:08:00.000+08:00

The Bible speaks of a friendship that knows no limits. "A friend loves at all times," said the wise man (Proverbs 17:17). And "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (18:24). Jesus said, "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends" (John 15:13).

Jesus is both our Great Physician and our Friend, and He promised that He would never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). He calls us to stand with our friends and family in His name as their earthly journey nears its end. That's what a true friend would do. —David McCasland

A friend is he who always knows
When the cold wind of trouble blows,
Who comes in dark and stormy night
With friendship's glowing lamp alight. —Mason

A true friend stays true to the end.

From Our Daily Bread: June 5, 2005

... OK, yes Amen

God will never disappoint me

2005-06-04T00:13:00.000+08:00

Ps 42:5,6 "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Saviour and my God."

1 Jhn 2:15,16 "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world - the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does - comes not from the Father but from the world."

Matt 21:22 "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Yes, Lord.
Thank you for the peace in my heart. I love you Father. I will put my trust in You O' God, and look to You in all things. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

How to pray

2005-06-02T10:45:00.000+08:00

"Five-Finger Prayer"

· When you fold your hands, the thumb is nearest you. So begin by praying for those closest to you—your loved ones (Philippians 1:3-5).

· The index finger is the pointer. Pray for those who teach—Bible teachers and preachers, and those who teach children (1 Thessalonians 5:25).

· The next finger is the tallest. It reminds you to pray for those in authority over you—national and local leaders, and your supervisor at work (1 Timothy 2:1-2).

· The fourth finger is usually the weakest. Pray for those who are in trouble or who are suffering (James 5:13-16).

· Then comes your little finger. It reminds you of your smallness in relation to God's greatness. Ask Him to supply your needs (Philippians 4:6,19).

James 5:13-18 (NIV)

The Prayer of Faith

¹³Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. ¹⁴Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. ¹⁶Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. *The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

¹⁷Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. ¹⁸Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.

*The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. (NKJV)

transformation..

2005-05-17T15:51:00.000+08:00

It's true, I haven't felt this way before.

I know I've been transformed. Not that I can see the transformation now. But inside me, I have this very strong feeling that confirms that the work of transformation.

Ps. Phil Pringle is an amazing man.. So annointed, so captivating. The week that just passed was life-changing. It's not something I can pin-point. I do not feel physically light, or happy, or emotionally touched.. I just feel like something's happened to my heart.. To put it in pastor's words, we are writing a new book, not a new chapter.

What did I learn last week?

- Destiny ; divine alignment
- To be loyal (to the church)
- Obedience & Reverence; fear of the Lord
- Respect authority: Obey the man God has appointed
- Tarry in His presence
- Be Faithful. whatever is not from faith is sin (rom 14:23)
- We Are Leaders (Accountable. Visible. Responsible.)
- Authority in Jesus; Do not doubt in your heart (mark 11:22-24)

I feel a renewal.. a transformation coming.. like the shedding of skin.. like strings cut loose..

Yesterday, someone sent me this email:

I want to stir up your mind to remind you that you have been given all things that pertain to life and godliness. But it is up to you to guard what God has given you.

And now in this hour, faith and the anointing of the Spirit of God
are in our hearts. But it's up to us to guard those treasures!
Source: From a Pastor's Heart by Kenneth E. Hagin. Jr.

offering and worship

2005-05-13T17:15:00.000+08:00

Hear this:

Worship is not worship when God is first.
Worship is worship when God is ONLY.

An offering is an offer, NOT an acceptance.
Give the Lord, your God, your BEST and Honor Him with your giving.

-----
You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve. Luke 4:8
You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind. Luke 10:27
-----

Rev. Dr Phil Pringle nite III

2005-05-13T16:55:00.000+08:00

Last night is a definite documentation into my prayer journal. The power of God so strong; the man, Rev Dr Phil Pringle, so annointed; the presence of God flowed thru, even though I was at home watching it online, via my laptop, into the room and filled our hearts. My sis and me were deeply touched…

The messages struck the very minute I stepped into the room.
Pastor said

"Our destiny is in the people of the world, with whom we align ourselves with."

Shock! My destiny? With the people of the world? Well, after a while, it made sense.

"Therefore it is important who/ where/ what you align yourselves with."

Then pastor spoke about loyalty.

- The spirit of loyalty is constructive; spirit of disloyalty is destructive;

- Friendship is not higher than loyalty

- Loyalty is not loyalty till you’ve been challenged with disloyalty

Major lesson learnt. (take example from Absalom 2 Sam 13, 14)

Unresolved offences breeds disloyalty.
Unresolved offences occur when you were offended and you did not forgive. Nursing a grudge will disqualify your destiny. Hence, forgiving; forgiveness, is a daily affair.

The Lord’s prayer:

Our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation. But deliver us from evil. Amen.

“Tonight, none of you will walk out without forgiving.”

There are a few types of people, some who are results-oriented; who will compromise in order to achieve their desired results.

Psalms 15: Keep commitments/ integrity even if it jeopardizes results.

Make decisions based on what God wants.

sometimes, People who demand the most, give the least.
sometimes, People who demand the least, give the most.

__________________________________________________________________

If our tents are to be enlarged, the stakes of loyalty need to be entrenched deeper so that winds of adversity do not blow it down.

__________________________________________________________________

Watch out! part III

2005-05-05T12:39:00.000+08:00

I always ask God to reveal to me my calling..

On 2 May
During Children's Church revival fire conference, Bill Wilson (in the video) said the need is the calling.
Very often, we listen to God's voice and when God doesn't say anything, we don't do anything.
He gave us an example, when he went to Africa, where he saw a hut in a land where everybody had forsaken. There he saw skinny children that nobody remembered. Then he said, "at that point of time, do you still need to pray about it?!"

As I was singing,
"One with Jesus
One with my Lord"
I then wondered, how do I be one with Jesus? I prayed to God that I want to walk in His perfect will, that I will not stray from the left to the right, nor from the right to the left. That is how I can be "one with Him" :)

On 4 May
I read Romans 8

Life Through the Spirit

¹Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,^[a] ²because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. ³For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature,^[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.^[c] And so he condemned sin in sinful man,^[d] ⁴in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.

⁵Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶The mind of sinful man^[e] is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; ⁷the sinful mind^[f] is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. ⁸Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. ⁹You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. ¹⁰But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. ¹¹And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

¹²Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. ¹³For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, ¹⁴because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. ¹⁵For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.^[g] And by him we cry, "Abba,^[h] Father." ¹⁶The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. ¹⁷Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

²⁶In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. ²⁷And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

More Than Conquerors

²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,^[j] who^[k] have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. ³⁰And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. ³¹What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³²He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

³⁵Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."^[l] ³⁷No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

In conjunction with the above, the book that I read later in the afternoon, "Creative Ministry", says, "He has to be and become more and more an obedient man - that is, a man who allows himself to be guided by the voices he hears, He has to be obedient to the voices of nature, to the voices of people, and to the voice of God."
(this book is about creative evangelism, and this chapter "Celebration" speaks about the celebration of life in all its glory, joy, sorrow and misery. To be able to celebrate the present along with the past)
My revelation here is that we are no longer enslaved to sin, sin is no longer our master. We have a new covenant with the law, with the Spirit. I need not struggle with sin. All I need to do is to yield to the Spirit.

The same night, as I was walking home, I prayed to God to bless my life to bless the others, to use me to minister to my friends and to encourage those around me.
I happened to speak to N, who was feeling a little tired, finding it hard to pray recently. After sharing with her on my revelations, she got very excited and said that she couldn't wait to hang up the phone to do her quiet time immediately! I was glad and of course we ended our conversation there. I thank God that I can be used by Him to encourage my friend :D

To wrap this series, lemme end off with something light.
Before I blogged, I wrote a list of things God has blessed me with & my revelations:
1) His comforting words from the bible
2) Ps Derek prayed for me
3) I do not live for the approval of man
4) Not to be a lukewarm Christian
5) The need is my calling
6) Rom 1, 2, 3 on homosexuality
7) Romans 8, I am set free
- Creative Ministry on obedience
8) J's sis, A's trust
9) God used me to encourage N
10) Preserve my body
- Body is the temple of the Holy Spirit
11) J thinks I am a Godly person. All the more, I should live for His glory.

(However, I took out point (11) subsequently cos I thought it wasn't so much a revelation.)
Afterwhich I started to pray and give thanks to God.
As I was praying, I received a shock when I suddenly remembered what I prayed for a week ago, when I was feeling weary, I told God, "God I know that You will never let me go, and pastor says that if I take one step towards God, God will take 10 steps (or was it 100 steps?) towards us."
When I looked at my ten points, I was just shocked! It couldn't have been a coincidence! I know it is God telling me if I draw close to Him, He will draw close to me. (Don't let go of God and God won't let you go.)

"Lord You are always here with me
There is no changing God in thee
You are the same yesterday and today and forevermore
Here on Your promises I stand
You hold my future in Your hands
My solid rock
Almighty God I worship You"

Amen.

Rom 1, 2, 3

2005-05-05T12:19:00.000+08:00

Romans 1²⁵They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
²⁶Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. ²⁷In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

Romans 2
²¹you, then, who teach others, do you not teach yourself? You who preach against stealing, do you steal?

Romans 3
²⁰Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.

Watch out! part II

2005-05-05T11:55:00.000+08:00

There are so many revelations at different points of time and I just know that it is God's encouragement. One thing that has been speaking to me the whole time, God can use me. I can do mighty things for God. And everytime I am reminded of that, I have to remind myself I have to consecrate myself.
On 29 Apr:
Overnight prayer meeting Pastor prayed for the youths to preserve their body and I thought that spoke to me, for I should preserve and keep myself pure for God.

On 30 Apr:
Pastor Eileen asked Jervon how his trip was, then he said he learnt not to take things for granted. I know that God can speak to us in any moment, so I took that down. Not to take things for granted. That day, teacher Wendy wanted me to act for her in her bible object lesson. I was to play a little girl who prays to God. Simple scene actually. All I hadda say was,
" Dear God I am very sad because mommy and daddy are quarelling.
God, help me depend on you and trust you no matter what happens.
Thank you for giving me peace in my heart.
In Jesus' name I pray Amen."
Before the scene, I just kept praying to God that I will perform with God's annointing. I didn't want to take things for granted and although it was a simple scene, I prayed to God that I would be able to play the role with conviction, that the children would be able to relate to the message.

After the service, pastor came to me and said that the most touching moment that day was when little Lingual (my character) prayed to God.. She said children would be able to relate to that. Woah! Thank God! Indeed we must develop sensitivity to Him, He can speak to us any moment, and we must also give him the best because He deserves the BEST! Amen.