I am honored and deeply grateful

grat•i•tude
–noun
Feeling of thankfulness; being given the the privilege; the honor of performing in front of thousands this Easter... having my dreams fulfilled, and given the capacity, the ability and the tenacity to carry it through.

God is so so good to me, I am convinced He deeply loves me. Not just because of His gifts, but His abundant grace, mercy and favor. He hears me, He keeps me in mind, He keeps me in check, He helps me, He anoints me, He loves me - Fully. More than I can think or imagine.

This Easter, I’m so filled with gratitude. You see, God loves us so much that we don’t even realize it sometimes.
• I have a dream. I love to perform.
• God gives me the gift and the talents.
• He hears me. He knows my desires, and my dream.
• And then He answers me. He grants me my desires.
• He enables me, gives me the capacity and the tenacity to fulfil it –
Playing this role was tough, even though I loved to act, it did not necessarily mean I was good at it. Even though I really wanted to do it, it didn’t mean I could do it well. It was certainly a challenge. But I prayed to God to give me the unique anointing to flesh out the role well and to communicate the good news of the gospel, of His grace that’s been upon my life; of how He saved me from the world.
And this Easter, I managed to achieve all of that.. I managed to overcome all aspects of what was required of me and I did it well. All with the help of God!

Isn’t He amazing?
He freely gives us all things and capacitates us! He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.. How true is that, in every form of the Word! Now, when I understand abundance, I understand it to mean in every aspect – not just financially or tangibly but in every need we may have.

If you love someone, you will give everything you have in your hand, and what more will our Father God give to us in abundance whatever we ask of Him?

Amen.

Believe it!

I was reading the book of Exodus two nights ago, and when I read this verse, I was deeply touched in my heart, for it speaks of a Father's love..

And the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so as to go by day and night. He did not take away the pillar of cloud by day or the pillar of fire by night from before the people.
(Exo 13:21-22)

And it certainly boosted my faith, knowing that the LORD my God is always with me, with his pillar of cloud by day and his pillar of fire by night, protecting me always, and never leaving me..


This afternoon, I decided to have my lunch at the office balcony instead, so I took my lunchbox out and sat down on the chair along the aisle. But before I could even take a few spoonfuls of my rice, I felt raindrops at my feet. So, in faith, I said in my heart, "God, let the rain stop.. let me finish my lunch first." On the aisle, I could already see raindrops appearing on the floor. As I looked up, I noticed it had started drizzling. I then decided to at least take a few more mouthfuls :p Just then, I realised the raindrops were no longer falling on my feet, and there were no new raindrops on the ground either.. When I looked up, the rain had stopped!! Immediately, I knew it could only be God! So, with thanks, I continued with my lunch :D

After I finished eating, I decided to pray and give thanks to God for answering my prayers as I meditated on Exo 13:21-22. After I finished praying, I felt little raindrops on my feet again. So, with a big smile on my face, that was when I stood up from my seat and slowly walked down the aisle and out of the balcony :)

Amen.

God is good.. God is with us and God hears us.

brevity of life

I had been very bothered by a lack of tact in a friend, and it's been on my mind to bring it up to her. Well, I had tried to tell her about how curt she can be sometimes and how that attitude might be worth reflecting but I guess the message never got home.
So over the past few days, I got increasingly upset as I felt it was eating away at our friendship. Since she was a close friend, it really hurt me deep inside..

I prayed to God last night and lifted my cares to Him. As I stared at my swimming pool below, it dawned upon me that I was going to be moving soon and I will no longer enjoy that tranquil view of the pool in 2 months' time - so I really ought to treasure what I have now and to make the most of it. God then reminded me to say that a wise man takes into account the brevity of life. He added in Ecclesiastes 7:21-24

21 Also do not take to heart everything people say,
Lest you hear your servant cursing you.
22 For many times, also, your own heart has known
That even you have cursed others.
23 All this I have proved by wisdom.
I said, “I will be wise”;
But it was far from me.
24 As for that which is far off and exceedingly deep,
Who can find it out?

Upon hearing that, I felt a load taken off me. Truly, I need not be bothered by these little things in life for such is the brevity of life..

The Joy of the Lord is my Strength :)

You rescued me Lord..

God gives hope
God revives dreams
Nothing will ever be too late
if you see from God's perspective

Standing upon the plane
of past future present
I can only see where my eyes can take me
But my Lord overlooks all things
And He shall direct my path
When I acknowledge Him in all my ways


God You are bringing me on the road to recovery
I know and I know and I can sense it in my heart
You care too much to let me stay this way
You care too much to let me stay the same

Lord I give You my world
Lord I give You my life
Your love is bringing me to greater heights
I need not go back to the same place again

I want to know You God

I want to know You God
You are a magnificent God
Above and beyond all that I know
It is You who gives all wisdom

God I can ask of You for this and that
But who would know better than God Himself
..He who holds the perfect plan:
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,
says the LORD,
thoughts of peace and not of evil,
to give you a future and a hope."

Your word is true, and You are faithful
Help me grow in greater understanding of You
I do not know a lot, and
I always grapple with the truth
Your ways are higher than my ways,
Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts
Lead me by the Spirit I pray,
Not my way but by Your way.
Amen.

reach out with love

"Are you persuaded you see more clearly than me?...Then treat me as you would desire to be treated yourself upon a change of circumstances. Point me out a better way than I have yet known. Show me it is so by plain proof of scripture. And if I linger in the path I have been accustomed to tread and am therefore unwilling to leave it, labor with me a little; take me by the hand and lead me as I am able to bear."

-John Wesley


..hearing this, it dawned upon me how impatient I had been. I had not yet learnt the art of empathy, and truly this is something I need to master. Labor a little, and to convince others as I would so wish to be convinced myself, in reaching out :)

I do not speak for myself

I recently met with a crisis.
And my confidence waned.
I told my friend that I was no longer confident of what I know.
Her grandma just passed away.. and even in circumstances like this, when she needs comfort and encouragement, I felt inferior even to dispense advice for I felt I did not have anything to offer.
But she spoke to me to say that all these inferior sentiments are from the devil, and that I do not speak out of my own knowledge but upon God's promises. For who can be sure of what they know.. But if I lean on what He says, I can still have conviction and confidence.

I thank God that when all else fails,
He never fails.
His mercy endures forever..

The scriptures declare that His mercy endures forever (Ps. 136), He retains not His anger forever, but delights in mercy (Mic. 7:18), His tender mercies are above all His works (including His judgments) (Ps. 145:9), His love never fails (1 Cor. 13:8), and above all, He is love (1 Jn. 4:8)!

Thank God for Your grace.
Amen.

How to self-discipline aka crucify your flesh

First of all, I want to thank God for His presence.
If anything, what makes a Christian walk so special is the experiential knowledge of God. Walking with Him..Feeling Him close.. His presence so tangible, it brings you to tears..

One of the biggest obstacle I have in my spiritual walk is my distractive mind. I am generally very restless and I have a very short attention span, which disrupts my quiet time greatly. What is a Christian walk if I can't enjoy quality fellowship with God?

The Bible says, "Seek the LORD while He may be found.."(Isa 55) Quite obviously, it means we are to SEEK Him, and how can we find Him if we can't remain still to hear from Him? “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) So last night, I tried again.. to hear God by 'turning down the volume of the world'. I tried to focus and here's what I learnt...

The first step to discipline is to become very aware of your thoughts and to capture every single disruptive thought, and to bring it into captive; subdue it with the authority of Christ; by bringing it into the 'court' of Christ.
Keep pressing on and focusing on God as you pray and you can enter into His presence when you persevere. Run, run,run with God and persevere.
As I do so, I feel as if I am running from the outer court, into the inner court, and moving into the Holy of Holies..

Tonight's one of the few times where I break down and experience Him in my quiet time. I can feel His embrace and His presence is so real. I actually feel relaxed as I remain still and flow in the spirit, slowly praying for things/ people that come into my mind.. And when I pray that way, there is greater faith and conviction than just 'having-to-pray'.


God hears and God feels.

We need to be serious with God.

No wonder the verse kept ringing in my head the whole night.. "Seek the LORD while He may be found".

It's all about seeking - Knock and doors shall be opened to you.
Amen!

How to hear from God in daily life

I wanna thank God for answering my prayers..faithfully, without fail.

..I asked God, and I prayed. I said God I want to train myself up in godliness. Cos I really feel that I need to whip my spiritual life back into shape. I haven't been fellowshipping with God very much and that's bad. "So how do I become so sensitive to You such that I can hear Your voice even in my daily activities - I want to walk in natural and spiritual wisdom," I asked God.

So I went to His word and started reading, and God says, "When trying to decide which option is best or what path to choose, ask yourself, 'which way would bring God glory?' If God would be honored in any decision, then choose the one you like most. God hasn't put you on earth to make you miserable. A lot of Christians mistakenly think that the most miserable option must surely be God's will. That's not true. God has given you preferences and passions on purpose. He knows you will accomplish more for the kingdom when you are working in an area you love. If bringing God glory is your first priority, then you will always make wise decisions. They may sometimes be tough, but in the end, you will have made the right choice."

Ahh.. Right!
Hearing from God; Giving Him glory.. Making Him the first priority..
That's wisdom in decision-making!

God loves speaking to me through His word. I also must seek Him more in His word.. AND pay attention! :D
Amen!

Our spiritual metabolism

I recently had a revelation about training ourselves in godliness..

"The apostle Paul warned Timothy, “Have nothing to do with godless myths and old
wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly.” 1 Tim 4: 7.
In an age when everything is instant, we expect transformations to happen quickly but
there is no such thing as instant godliness. The apostle wrote, ‘Train yourself to be
godly’. He exhorted Timothy to be disciplined in order to attain godliness."

Here, we can see that godliness isn't something that comes naturally, or without any hard work, but something that requires exercise; training; discipline.

The Bible constantly urges us to be holy, to live lives that please God, hence to do that, we need to discipline our flesh and here's what I learnt:

My boyfriend explained to me about our metabolic system.
He says that to get our metabolic system going, we need to be constantly pushing it beyond its limits. Like for example, when we run, we need to push it beyond what we can bear, so that when we stop, the body is still in gear; the metabolic rate is still in motion. And as for our daily lives, even when we are doing mundane things like taking the lift, we can lift our bags to work our arms, and such little exercises keep our body going. This is so that even when we are not doing anything, our body's metabolism goes into auto-pilot, and is always in gear.
I see it as the same way as our spirituality.
In training ourselves up in godliness, we need to constantly crucify our flesh, such that on its own, we are always in tuned with the Spirit. Like, for example in little ways like praying.. Whenever we don't feel like praying when we should, we should crucify the flesh and push it a little such that even when at rest, the body (us) is always in the Spirit zone.

..And now, time for a little pushing ;)

Revelation about love

I had a revelation about love..

The bible says, Love bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:7);
To bear all things evil, and is not overcome. This is the idea of bear. Love bears up against the tide of evil, as the rock against the waves. Believes all things, is not distrustful and suspicious; Hopes all things, is hopeful instead of despondent and hopes for the best. How hard for the loving mother to give up on her recreant son! Endures all things; To endures patiently persecution and suffering. And here, the cardinal quality of fortitude, hardihood and unyielding persistence is meant.

Love is not on the basis of how the person is to you. It is to love irregardless. That loving someone is not on the basis of how well he treats you, or if he has a mood swing you love him less. That is not love. But the real kind of love is one that is borne purely inward (not out of an outward reciprocration), regardless of how the person treats you. And when you love that way, nothing the person do can affect your love for him. And even when the other party hurts you or upsets you, or even if it seems like the other party does not care, one can continue to love and give. For that kind of love is not circumstance nor person-driven.
And there can be greater joy in loving this way; to love irregardless. For half a heart is not a whole. To love wholly, is to give it your all. The same way God loves us.

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

too long..

It's been too long since I last wrote in my good news journal..
Did God not bless me? Did He not speak to me? Of course not! He never stopped speaking; never stopped blessing. He is faithful. Always.
I was reading today's Daily Bread (February 6, 2007) on Spiritual Passion:

I have this against you, that you have left your first love. —Revelation 2:4

"Why does spiritual passion fade so easily? When we first experience God’s love, we spend hours thinking about Him, studying His Word, and telling others how much He means to us. Then it happens. Our busy schedules slowly dampen our passion. Our longing for Jesus and our study of His character become an occasional glance. Surely the object of our affection hasn’t changed!

The church at Ephesus wrestled with maintaining its spiritual passion. Jesus, through John, wanted to help them restore and maintain their love and zeal for Him. Although He commended this church for their work, Jesus saw that they had abandoned their first love—Him (Rev. 2:4).

The Ephesians had lost their spiritual passion for Jesus. It had become a cold and mechanical orthodoxy. I wonder if they had allowed the stealthy culprit of religion and busyness to enter their hearts. Whatever it was, something had stolen the affection they had once reserved for the Lord.

Have you allowed something to steal your passion? If so, it can be restored and maintained when you consistently remember His amazing love demonstrated at Calvary. Repent of your sinful, unloving attitudes, and out of love for Jesus repeat your "first works" (v.5). —Marvin Williams

What once was filled with wonder
Lies cold within my heart;
Return, O Lord, that wonder,
And may it not depart. —Sper

Devotion to Jesus is the key to spiritual passion."


... and so I decided to continue from where I left off..
Hence my first entry for the year :)

No matter what happens, we will never cancel out God's love for us.
The bible says, Draw close to God and He will draw close to you (James 4:8) and it cannot be more true than that. Which is why, no matter how spiritually low or dry you feel, never stop seeking Him. When troubles come, run TO Him, not away from Him. Even when you feel guilty, ashamed or even embarrassed, go TO your Father. When we take one step towards God, He will take a thousand steps towards us. Don't entertain thoughts of condemn and escape from Him. Should you feel low, my advice is to squeeze out any ounce of energy to seek after Him, and you will be glad you did so, for you will be rewarded. I have been, that's why I can testify to that.

He never fails.
He is faithful, and His mercy endures forever.

my tongue is the pen

I've always loved to write. Sometimes when I don't know how to speak to God, I start by writing to Him. Tonight, as I sit on my desk attempting to write Him a song or a poem, I prayed, "God, let me worship You with my pen." I proceeded to write and then God said, my tongue is the pen of a skilful writer. Ps 45:1

Speak, keep on speaking, the Lord says.
If you think your prayers are weak, keep on praying.
The Lord does not despise every prayer you make.

I couldn't ask for a better friend, Lord
You're my Saviour and my God
With You I find eternity
In You I trust completely

Every page of my life is a new beginning,
so wonderfully written by You.
Every chapter is a revelation,
Every journey is a discovery.
Thank You Holy Spirit,
for You are with me.

Doing

Why I do the things that I do.

Not so that I may earn or keep my salvation but rather cos I love Him and I wanna please Him, no more than a child wanting to please her parents just by being a good girl. EVEN with the knowing that they love me all the same.

I remember this song my 5 yr-old friend taught me when I was 10...

"Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible tells me so
Jesus loves me when I'm bad
Tho' that makes Him very sad
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves me
For the bible tells me so"

On my bible reference, it says, "How hard should we obey the bible?"
Then the king stood in his place and made a covenant before the LORD, to follow the LORD, and to keep His commandments and His testimonies and His statutes with all his heart and all his soul, to perform the words of the covenant that were written in this book. (2 Chronicles 34:31)

I thank the Lord God for His encouragement and assurance that all things we do, no matter how little and whether it is done in the secret or in the open, He knows. And I wanna encourage all of us to continue to be faithful in the little things, for they do not go unnoticed. Tho' we do not do it for a reward, but we do it out of our love for our Lord Jesus Christ, who is always faithful and ever loving.

Forgiveness

To a dear friend,
I write to you with love... on what I know to be biblical; to be God's word and truth... I preach not, and will not impose this upon you, for God gives us free will, and will never force Himself upon us. Hence, I write in here to share with you on the topic of forgiveness...

"Teach us how to pray," the disciples said to Jesus. (Luke 11:1) He answered by teaching them the prayer we call the Our Father or The Lord's Prayer:

"...Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. "

This petition of the Lord's Prayer is a demanding one. Not only do we ask God's forgiveness for our daily offenses, but we link God's forgiveness of us with our forgiveness of others. Forgiving others is not always easy to do. We need God's help to do it. But it must be done or we ourselves cannot receive God's mercy.

The parable of the unforgiving servant:
“But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ (Matt 18:28)
Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
“So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” (Matt 18:32-35)


When I speak of the unforgiving man, I speak of the man who is stubborn, whose heart is hardened and who finds no room in him to offer forgiveness to others even as he is forgiven. I trust that my friend has been offered grace by our Lord God, and has rendered forgiveness to others even when it is difficult. Surely our Lord is bigger than any of our sins, but He asks that we forgive others as He forgave us.
“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. (Mark 11:25)

And with so many verses from the bible where God asks us to forgive, surely it is His will that we forgive so that we may too be forgiven.

Dear friend, I write to you with grace and peace in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and I trust that you have forgiveness as the Lord has been gracious in forgiving us. The unforgiving man I speak about is not you, but the one whose heart is hardened, who finds no room in his heart to forgive. For if God's spirit is in us, surely we will always have room to love and to forgive, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

Amen.

So you think it is not fair..

When I was younger, I used to hold anti-Christ sentiments, thinking that it was not fair that one man could save all. I mean, but of course, he's God, isn't he? Surely it's a breeze for him, doing all that he did.
"That's so unfair!"

But here's what made me see the light, so thought I really oughtta share it:

"I have heard some people complain that if Jesus was God as well as man, then His sufferings and death lose all value in their eyes, 'because it must have been so easy for Him'. The perfect submission, the perfect suffering, the perfect death were not only easier to Jesus because He was God, but were possible only because He was God. But surely that is a very odd reason for not accepting them? The teacher is able to form the letters for the child because the teacher is grown-up and knows how to write. That, of course, makes it easier for the teacher; and only because it is easier for him can he help the child. If it rejected him because 'it's easy for grown-ups' and waited to learn writing from another child who could not write itself (and so had no 'unfair' advantage), it would not get on very quickly. If I am drowning in a rapid river, a man who still has one foot on the bank may give me a hand which saves my life. Ought I to shout back (between my gasps) 'No, it's not fair! You have an advantage! You're keeping one foot on the bank'? That advantage - call it 'unfair' if you like - is the only reason why he can be of any use to me. To what will you look for help is you will nt look to that which is stronger than yourself?"
(Mere Christianity, CS Lewis)


The perfect penitent.

level of faith

I have a thing about waiting for buses and praying for them. So, just wanna share one of them:

That day, I was leaving from work and since I was late, I prayed for my bus to come. As soon as I did that, I started to hurry to the bus stop, for I knew in my heart that God was gonna send the bus to me. And the moment I set foot on the bus stop, my bus arrived! At that point, there was only one thing on my mind,

"If you have the faith to believe, God will be faithful to deliver."
..just a revelation to a very simple example.

when you believe, believe with all your heart, mind and body.

Waiting, in the Hope

I have been praying in THE hope, for the bible says, "Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." (Rom 8:24-25) And I am waiting patiently in THE hope :)

But the hope is not passive.

For the waiting is not moving from nothing to something, but from something to something more, as I learn in "Finding My Way Home" by Henri Nouwen.

"..there is none of that passivity in Scripture. Those who are waiting are waiting very actively. They know that what they are waiting for is growing from the ground on which they are standing. If we wait in the conviction that a seed has been planted and that something has already begun, it changes the way we wait. Active waiting implies being fully present to the moment with the conviction...

Then Mary said, “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

A waiting person is a patient person. The word 'patience' implies the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden will mainifest itself to us. Impatient people expect the real thing to happen somewhere else, and therefore they want to get away from the present situation and go elsewhere. But patient people dare to stay where they are. Waiting, then, is not passive. It involves nurturing the growth of something within.

Waiting is also open-ended. Zechariah, Elizabeth, Mary, Simeon and Anna were filled with hope. Their hope was trusting that fulfillment would come, not according to their wishes, but according to the promises of God. Their hope was open-ended."

I pray that even as I wait, I do not lose sight of the call of God and get too obsessed over what I am waiting for, but rather to remain open to the call of God; to be sensitive to His voice, that I may be so versatile to move in His ways, according to His will for me. Thank You Jesus for the hope that I have in You.

Guard against thieves

Praying for deliverance, I received another tip on how to guard/ consecrate our minds:

"One of the early fathers said: "When thieves approach a house in order to creep up to it and steal, and hear someone inside talking, they do not dare to climb in; in the same way, when our enemies try to steal into the soul and take possession of it they creep all round but fear to enter when they hear that...prayer welling out."

That is why the bible tells us to pray unceasingly.

Amen.

sin in your dreams?

Knowing how I could ask God if I had any questions, I wondered out of curiousity and asked if we could sin in our dreams. Then when I was reading Reaching Out...

"What is the source of those unbecoming nocturnal phantasies? he said: "They arise out of the disordered movements of the soul that occur during the day. But if a man should occupy himself with the judgements of God and so purify his soul and concern himself constantly with good matters and things pleasing to God, then these things will fill his dreams (instead)."

I love how God answers me all the time :)