When you are drowning, cling to Him (all the more)

Last night, I had a fight with my mum..

It started with something very trivial till I made some insensitive remark. Since the both of us were really tired, that stupid remark didn't make it any better for her, and I think she got hurt.. It ended up with the both of us being angry with each other..

She went into her room crying, and I was sitting in my living room not knowing what to do.

She really is the best mum in the world, and precisely because she is the best mum in the world, she definitely deserves the best daughter too. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. I didn't know how much more I could give her or what I could do that would truly meet her expectations.. so there I was, sitting by the dining table sobbing - angry with myself; upset with her; feeling helpless.

As I sat there, negative thoughts ran through my mind. I even doubted my relationship with God.
I thought the reason why I love God was probably because He is not human. He doesn't live with me under the same roof, and will never scold me like my mum. But even as I was thinking that thought, I knew I was being ridiculous for thinking that way because God is clearly real to me, not to mention my numerous encounters with Him! This truly wasn't the time to deny Him. How could I?...

When you are helpless and drowning, most people tend to swim away from Him instead of swimming to Him as our lifeline. Whilst thinking that, I used my little ounce of energy left to pray.. I tried my best to be sane and pleaded with Him - I said, "God help me. I'm feeling helpless now. I know when I am weak, I am strong because You will strengthen me. And Your word says that Draw close to You and You will draw close to me, so I'm doing the exact thing Your word says, and I believe that You will help me. I trust You.." With that I ended my prayer, and sought to hear from Him.

True enough, God is never one who forsakes, and even when we are faithless, He is faithful. He then says to me, Ask, and it shall be given you. Nothing that is good shall be denied him. If all these things are to be had by merely knocking at mercy's door, O my soul, knock hard this morning, and ask large things of thy generous Lord. No unbelief should hinder when Jesus promises.

You need not fret concerning the weakness..for the battle is the Lord's, and He shall get to Himself the victory. Let us abide faithful to Christ, and He, in the right time, will raise up for us a defence..in the day of our personal need..."

On hearing this, peace seemed to swim inside me. I then had a confident assurance that God would take care of the problem for me, and that I could go to bed and not worry anymore.. *grin*

With that, I thanked Him, and went to bed with peace in my heart...


The next day, I awoke feeling fresh and it couldn't have felt more brand new! Somehow, it almost seemed like last night did not happen at all. Why, God truly gives His beloved rest!

But of course, coming back to the crux of the story..

My mum returned home this evening, she spoke with me, and we hugged and we made up.

!!!

GOD IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM AND I'M NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT!


My Number One by Hillsong Kids
I won't stop, never gonna stop praising
Evr'y day You'll be my number one Jesus Jesus my number one

Now the sun's coming up and it's going back down
No I'll never back down from living for You my God!
I'm living for truth my God
As time goes by and the seasons change
No I'm never gonna change my love for You my God
My hope in You my God!

Everybody now!
I won't stop, never gonna stop praising
Evr'y day You'll be my number one Jesus Jesus my number one

No matter what I'll face, gonna put my faith in You
At the end of the day, gonna stand my ground and say

I'll praise You my God x4

I won't stop, never gonna stop praising
Evr'y day You'll be my number one Jesus Jesus my number one
You are my number one....