June 28 2008
Feeling drowned in the onslaught of pressure at work, I found myself suffocating spiritually especially when my prayer life was dry.. Everytime I try to pray, I meet with resistence in my flesh and I become afraid to pray because I realized I do not know how to pray; where to start; how to engage with Him. Clearly, I have drifted…
So this morning, I was feeling lousy as usual – feeling I have disappointed Him; angry with myself for saying how much I love Him yet not fellowshipping with Him enough, I felt I didn’t deserve Him. I was feeling so defeated…
But I decided to start somewhere and picked up my Daily Devotional:
Hebrews 12:2 “Looking Unto Jesus”
It is ever the Holy Spirit's work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan's work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, "Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of his children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus." All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: he tells us that we are nothing, but that "Christ is all in all." Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee-it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee-it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument-it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking unto Jesus." Keep thine eye simply on him; let his death, his sufferings, his merits, his glories, his intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to him; when thou liest down at night look to him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after him, and he will never fail thee.
"My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness:
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name."
Indeed..
God is watching; listening to us all the time. He is there for us, lest anyone should fall away, He is there so we can fall on Him…
Thank You Jesus..
Saturday, June 28, 2008
God is Undeniably good
June 27 2008
Gin taught me an interesting way to chart my prayer life, she said the Holy Spirit inspired her to adopt this method.
She would pray, write down her prayer requests as well as note down those which God has answered.. Through this, she will be able to see which are the prayers which God answers and which are those which He will take time. From this, we will also be able to see a pattern of how God moves and we are better able to understand His heart.
A very good method I thought!
Even before I could start on it, I found two prayers which God would always answer promptly!
The first time Aaron and I prayed over our work, that God would open doors to sponsorships, for favor of men, that very night, a potential sponsor called me to indicate their interest in collaborating.
Yesterday, the 2nd time we prayed as a group, asking for favor and open doors in sponsorships, we received an email from another potential sponsor seeking to collaborate in our major dance events!
He was so prompt I had only one thing to conclude – God wants me to succeed in my career! He really wants me to succeed in my career.. and He will help me.
Gin taught me an interesting way to chart my prayer life, she said the Holy Spirit inspired her to adopt this method.
She would pray, write down her prayer requests as well as note down those which God has answered.. Through this, she will be able to see which are the prayers which God answers and which are those which He will take time. From this, we will also be able to see a pattern of how God moves and we are better able to understand His heart.
A very good method I thought!
Even before I could start on it, I found two prayers which God would always answer promptly!
The first time Aaron and I prayed over our work, that God would open doors to sponsorships, for favor of men, that very night, a potential sponsor called me to indicate their interest in collaborating.
Yesterday, the 2nd time we prayed as a group, asking for favor and open doors in sponsorships, we received an email from another potential sponsor seeking to collaborate in our major dance events!
He was so prompt I had only one thing to conclude – God wants me to succeed in my career! He really wants me to succeed in my career.. and He will help me.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Our God is a reassuring God
Following God's assurance that He will be my soulmate and my confidante, God continues to reassure me in a most irrefutable way..
On Wednesday 21st June, just 4 days after He spoke to me through a prophesy by an SOT mate, God speaks to me again through two of my cell group members. That night, while we were all praying, Adeline gave a word of knowledge saying that God knows I feel guilty when I come before Him and that I feel like I'm not good enough, but He wants me to be assured in Him and know that He loves me. I sensed that God is telling me that His love is made perfect in me, and I really need not fear. There should be no fear in His perfect love.
Just when I thought that was all, Connie spoke. She said, "But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and earthenware, and some for honorable and noble use and some for menial and ignoble use. So whoever cleanses himself will be a vessel set apart and useful for honorable and noble purposes, consecrated and profitable to the Master, fit and ready for any good work. She said that God wants me to know He is not looking for a silver vessel, a golden vessel or a perfect vessel, but a willing vessel. And if I am willing, I can be set apart for His use.."
I really broke down that night, for God is such a reassuring God.
First He tells me He is my friend, then He tells me I need not feel guilty or that I am not good enough, and then He tells me He can use me, and that I'm as comparable as any golden or silver vessel..
His words truly are comforting...
With that, I really felt more confident in approaching His throne, just like His word says, "Let us come boldly to His throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (Heb 4:16 NKJV)
I thank You God. You are my Abba Father, thank You for loving me and I love You...
*btw those 2 friends I mentioned weren't very close friends and yet they could pinpoint exactly where I was in my walk with God and accurately point out my deepmost emotions... God truly knows it all...
On Wednesday 21st June, just 4 days after He spoke to me through a prophesy by an SOT mate, God speaks to me again through two of my cell group members. That night, while we were all praying, Adeline gave a word of knowledge saying that God knows I feel guilty when I come before Him and that I feel like I'm not good enough, but He wants me to be assured in Him and know that He loves me. I sensed that God is telling me that His love is made perfect in me, and I really need not fear. There should be no fear in His perfect love.
Just when I thought that was all, Connie spoke. She said, "But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and earthenware, and some for honorable and noble use and some for menial and ignoble use. So whoever cleanses himself will be a vessel set apart and useful for honorable and noble purposes, consecrated and profitable to the Master, fit and ready for any good work. She said that God wants me to know He is not looking for a silver vessel, a golden vessel or a perfect vessel, but a willing vessel. And if I am willing, I can be set apart for His use.."
I really broke down that night, for God is such a reassuring God.
First He tells me He is my friend, then He tells me I need not feel guilty or that I am not good enough, and then He tells me He can use me, and that I'm as comparable as any golden or silver vessel..
His words truly are comforting...
With that, I really felt more confident in approaching His throne, just like His word says, "Let us come boldly to His throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (Heb 4:16 NKJV)
I thank You God. You are my Abba Father, thank You for loving me and I love You...
*btw those 2 friends I mentioned weren't very close friends and yet they could pinpoint exactly where I was in my walk with God and accurately point out my deepmost emotions... God truly knows it all...
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